Total Geek Lust

BOYS! OMFG BOYS YA'LL!

2007-01-14T23:53:00.000-08:00

I've been somewhat enjoying my new found "freedom". No dates, but a few pretty boys on the horizon:

Tank - Hah. Don't you love the nicknames? They're fab, I know. Tank is a friend I've known for a while via a couple of different websites - first textamerica, then my own site, then flickr. Tank has a military job that revolves around design and he lives in the midwest. He's 33, I believe. Nice guy.

good points: We share the same quirky sense of humor. He's tallish - around 6'1. Good work ethic. Doesn't mind me making porn - is indifferent to it, not caring either way. Cares about me as a friend.

bad points: He talks exceptionally fast. And low. So I can't do my patented "My ADD Flares Up So I Do Fifty Things At Once" maneuver on him. I have to turn everything off to understand him. It's kinda cute. Tends to ramble, but it's somewhat endearing. While he does love his work, he frequently goes from job to job, and moves around the country often. Has a typical college grad student's income... except he hasn't been in college for 7 years now. While he does care about me as a friend, he has never come out and said "hey! let's try this out!" However, he is coming through Dallas in March for a few days and asked if he could stop in and visit, so who knows.

747 - I absolutely love his nickname. HAH!!!! 747 is 31ish and in the military - air force if we get specific. Get the reference? 747 = plane? plane = air force? Yes, this is just one of the many ways how I think. He's currently stationed in Europe and hasn't lived in the US for roughly 9 years - in fact, has lived in over 16 countries in that time.

good points: Vocal about his feelings about me. Steady military job - has no desire to leave it. Genuinely cares about me. Calls just to say "he's thinking about me" and then hangs up. Extremely sexual.

bad points: Shorter than I'd like - 5'8. Not so much argumentative... but is definitely pigheaded. Frequently goes between "let's try this out!" and "this will never work". Detests what I do for a living, even though this is something I've always wanted. Has said that he does want me, but does not want me to do porn if we're involved. However, we're still talking, so apparently, he doesn't care that much. Has said he will probably never live in the US.

Casino - Feel free to get nasty with me, but apparently Casino and 747are friends.... I KNOW! I didn't know they were friends until after I had spoken to Casino a bit. Small fucking world. Supposedly 747 was best friend's with Casino's brother and they had a falling out over a girl. Casino knows I'm talking to 747 asaipcrn*, and he knows the general outline (which is what you guys know). Casino is comfortable in the friend role but has made it known that he wants more.

A side point about Casino and 747... look out for my next post. It's a weird story but deserves it's own post.

good points: Also vocal about his feelings about me. Cute guy. Passionate about his heritage (meheecan). Good job, and cares about succeeding. Frequent communicator. Doesn't hide his feelings.

bad points: Also shorter than I'd like - about 5'8. Sometimes comes across as Too Poetic and Too Cheesy. But that has to be his meheecano blud. Has said outright that he doesn't care that I'm speaking to 747 somewhat seriously, and is willing to share me with 747. Oh.... the indecent thoughts!!!

*as seriously as I possibly can right now.

Talent.

2006-12-29T11:41:00.000-08:00

I have this particular talent. It's pretty awesome.

You see, you can put me in a room with 100 guys.......................

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.....................................................where was I?

OH! So anyway. You can put me into a room with 100 guys, and I can pick out the ones that will get all excited to meet you and get to know you, disappear off the face of the planet and then resurface after 6 months to a year.

I know this because it's the ones I'm attracted to. Like flies to honey, my friend.

In the last two weeks, 4 "exes" of some variety or another have contacted me. Yeah. Seriously. Two were guys that I "seriously" talked to but never met because they stood me up or bailed, and two were guys that I've been involved with to some degree.

And it's been at least six months since I've talked to any of them. I'm telling you. My life runs on a 6 month scale. It's kinda pathetic.

Anyhoo.

So to answer Rob's question, no, no I won't be getting involved with any of them again. I might mindfuck them - which is also a talent of mine. But no, it's my rule never to get reinvolved with someone that drops out of my life like that. Which basically means that I can't get involved with 92% of the guys I've dated - because they all default to the 6 Month Rule.

I'm telling you, it's a talent I have.

Not so much a posting machine, no.

2006-12-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted here for a couple of different reasons.

a) things are hectic at my other websites. I'm trying to make some more cash for the holidays, so I'm spending most of my time on my porn site, trying to move things around. I am in serious need of cash flow, bb - like desperately.

and

2) The last 2 times I've come here, I spend 30 minutes or more typing out a post that Blogger eats. Thanks, blogger. I appreciate it.

So anyhoo, about my dates. They were with a guy that was nice, funny, smart, blah blah blah. Very low-key dates... but they proved to me that I am indeed capable of being desired and wanted.

Sounds stupid, but girls don't do well when people they're close to suddenly drop them without so much as a "bye". Hmmmm. Wondering who I could possibly be talking about...

Speaking of him, still haven't heard from HIM. Like, at all. Like, nothing. No IMs, emails, phone calls, nothing. And I think that's for the best. I don't want to be involved with anyone that can't give me a simple phone call. So fuck you, Scoot. Fuck you.

Where was I?

Oh.

So... my dates went well, but for various reasons didn't progress. Quite honestly, he seemed a bit hung up on my job. I mean, general curiosity is fine, yes. So's being turned on by what your girlfriend does for work. But you don't have to ask constantly about her work. "Does it turn you on? I know you told me before but tell me again." It gets a little retarded.

He was also obsessed with the idea of coming on my face, which we know is a no-no.

Aside from that, he was charming. So maybe it's for the best - what with the "TELL ME WHAT YOU DOOOOOOOOOO" thing and the "oo bb cn i cum on ur face lol?"

Also, since I'm prepping to move, it might not be a good idea to get involved with someone just yet. I need to focus on finding myself a place to fucking live first. Oy.

Did Hell Freeze?

2006-12-12T01:17:00.000-08:00

This may shock you but..... I went on a date in the last week.

Not one. But TWO. DOS.

Partly to prove to some people (*cough*) that I'm desirable and partly to prove to MYSELF that I'm desirable.

I mean, I don't know if you know this or not but.... I'm a fucking catch and a half. =)

I usually don't like talking about guys until we're thoroughly involved. I guess it's somewhat jinxing. But fuck jinxing. I actually had a lot of fun on said dates. Of course, the majority of one was mostly physical.... but hey, it counts!

I'm not going to say anymore than that for right now. Not really because I'm being modest, but because it's 4am and I'm exhausted. I'll give you a good post in the next day or so, Rob. Promise. :D

New name, new look, new outlook.

2006-12-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

I hereby declare this blog to be Mine, in the name of SWF @ TGL (that's "Single White Female at Total Geek Lust").

Since this is now a single chick's diary (hence the new subtitle - "A Hard Geek is Good to Find". it's a take on a Mae West quote, "A hard man is good to find"), I felt I needed a new name (SWF was the obvious choice) and new look. Basically, I needed to claim this blog as mine, visually. Turning over a new leaf, I guess. If I have another person participate in my blog, it'll be rarely and via email. A blog isn't very good if only one of the two people consistently post, so I'm avoiding that scenario again. This blog will now be strictly Me and My Dating Life. I'll rarely post something that doesn't relate to Dating, with a capital D.

Email address is the same. I revamped my bio on the sidebar over yon ~~~>, and added a little disclaimer about how this blog is updated, but rarely updated daily.

So yeah. There it is. I hope you guys enjoy the new layout and the new format.

Oh, and.... Scoot, thanks for stopping by and continuing to read my blog. Your patronage is appreciated. Sorry things didn't work out between us, but it's obviously for the best. Good luck in all your future endeavors and relationships.

The Girl, and the Fate of TGL

2006-11-30T13:05:00.000-08:00

So it's Thursday afternoon and I still haven't heard anything. We've had a few hits from his area, so I'm fairly certain he's checking out the site.

I'm still semi-baffled that I haven't heard from him, but I'm not expecting to. Sad, but true. Maybe he's scared... maybe he lost interest. I have no idea because the ass won't contact me.

So whatev. His loss.

In other news... the fate of TGL is secure, I swear. I like the idea of having a separate blog for my dating life.

The Girl: Still alive. At least I am.

2006-11-27T00:30:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a while, as you can see.

Here's the deal. If it offends anyone, suck it. And I'm not approving any comments on this one - sorry. =)

-------------

I've talked to Scooter three times in four weeks.

Yeah, seriously.

He hasn't called. No emails. Shit, if he's been online more than those three times in the last four weeks, he's been hiding because I'm online almost every waking hour and I haven't seen him.

Three conversations ago, I could tell something was bothering Scooter - and it wasn't his allergies or whatever's been making him sick in the last month or so. He seemed "off". I just chalked it up to him being sick, overworked, and exhausted.

Two conversations ago, his attitude about us turned from optimistic (see any of his posts that mention it) to realistic.

"Well now, let's not get our hopes up. We might not get along. Blah blah blah, etc and so on."

He's NEVER been like that. Part of the reason I like(d) talking to him was because he was openly optimistic about our dating and didn't do that stupid boy shit - "yeah, I think we'd have fun. But let's be realistic here!" I liked that he was (for the most part) ok with us being a few hours apart.

I'm not sure what happened to him to make him to change his attitude. Maybe he's horny - to which I say, "Welcome to the fucking club, friend." In our last conversation, we actually spoke on the phone.

Shock!

His attitude was friendly, but not very. More like we were just two friends chatting. And - what's even weirder - it seemed as though he was dropping hints for me to make a move of some kind.

Memo to all you guys out there: if you're wanting positive affirmations from the object of your affections, make sure you don't make her feel like you don't really give a fuck anymore, hmmm?

Which brings me to my final bitch. Months ago, we talked about meeting Thanksgiving week. He'd possibly have enough time off to drive into Dallas, and he said he wanted to meet for dinner. When it was first mentioned, I was truly stoked. I mean, come on. Hot firefighter, great chemistry, wants to meet ME? Fuckin' A, bb.

Well, I haven't heard anything about it in maybe two months. Nada. I don't know if he changed his mind weeks ago and didn't want to bring it up or what. It's not like I'm not here to talk. I mean, my last few emails to him went unanswered, so it's not like I'm incomunicado like he is.

Shit, and if that isn't enough to tick me off, here's something else: he told me a month ago that the name I know him by isn't his real name. He said that there was some identity theft thing that got him in trouble at work or some shit, so he doesn't put his real name online....

... and apparently, doesn't want me to know. Which... you know... I'm insulted. I really am. If it's not the lack of communication from him, and if it's not the sudden change of attitude, then it's the fact that he won't tell me his real name and doesn't feel the need to tell me that he doesn't want to meet.

So where do I stand right now?

Well, quite honestly, it's too early in our Thing for it to have gone so uncomfortably for one/both of us. I mean, this should happen when we've been together for a while - it shouldn't happen when we talk a bit more than once a week and have never met in person. I think it would be in Scooter's best interest to just deal with his own life before he starts attempting to involve other people.

And so, gentle readers, I have quietly folded my hand - "quietly" because no one is around to see me do it. You can't play poker by yourself - because then that's just sad. And it doesn't seem as though my opponent doesn't really want to play anything but penny ante anyway.

So stay tuned to find out what happens next in the Misadventures of The Girl. Same bat time, same bat channel.

The Boy : The PS3 Came... And Wasn't Very Good In Bed

2006-11-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, he finally got it. And I admit, I did go over and play it. The verdict: While extremely pretty, it was a letdown. It was like finding out that Rhona Mitra wants to fuck your brains out, and then realizing that all she does is lay there like a dead fish.
True, it's shiny, it's expensive, it has plenty of geek appeal and "you can masturbate to it" (props to Kate); but the overall experience was lame.
So much dissappointment later, I have confirmed that I don't want one unless I'm getting it for the Blu-Ray player. But even that's a stretch.
Oh Wii, hurry up and get here in such good supply that both "Jen" and I can walk into a Best Buy and buy one without pushing through greasy emaciated nerds waiting in line for one. Let Mario Kart be online so we can trash talk and tease over the internets.
Sigh...
On the more realistic front, I have a new lust. I want the Treo 750.

Just look at that thing! Imagine how much better connected I can be with something like that.
It makes my duct-taped P.O.S. look like a duct-taped P.O.S.
Somehow, I don't think it'll be available on Virgin anytime soon. Suck it contracts!

Wannabe Sawyer : PS3 Cometh

2006-11-14T23:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, I get it. We all understand how a hype machine works, and how it can drive people to do crazy things. Case in point, I am now sitting at home, MUCH happier than I would be if I was to fulfill a crazy request. To bring a buddy of mine a hamburger while he sits in line outside the store. It's fucking 1 am and he's camping out to buy a system that comes out in 2 days! WTF!?
In-fuckin-sane-o.
In other news, apparently 52% of British ladies wanna have teh sex with me. While that may seem cool, I don't think it is. See, I don't think dentists exist over the pond. And let's face it, bad teeth is a deal-breaker.
"Slob ya knob guvnah?"
Ummm... no thanks.
In other news, I can say that the #1 fantasy for men (according to askmen) is bedding 2 women at once, the 2nd is sleeping with a movie star, the 3rd most popular is sexing up a model, which Kate/Jen/Anne is. So Anne, I bet you didn't know that you're the 3rd choice but have a respectable 29% of men wanting to bed you as a first choice. And as a man, I'd give you 100% odds that if asked if they would, ALL men would take the model route if given the opportunity.
WOW
Aren't we just the catnip in Britain and at home?
Jellis anyone?
Thought so.

ChickWithoutAName: TMI Tuesday

2006-11-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

1. Without looking it up, do you know what polyamorous means?
Essentially, it's the "art" of sustaining multiple sexual relationships concurrently. And actually... polyamorous is wrong!!! (It is either Multiamory or Polyphilia, but mixing Greek and Latin roots? Wrong!)

2. Now that you have looked it up, do you believe polyamory is possible?
I've discussed this many times before. I think it's possible and enjoyable. However, if I participated, I'd be very selfish and wouldn't want my lovers to take on other lovers (which technically is not polyamory - it's polyandry.)

3. Do you regret any past sexual partner, sexual liaison or missed opportunity for one?
I don't regret anything, especially the bad fucks. I mean, yeah, they were bad... but if I hadn't fucked them, I'd be wondering, "I wonder how sex would have been with that nightshift manager", whereas now I know he's a horrible, selfish fuck. In more ways than one. I think I could have had more sex, though.

4. Have you had sex with a virgin after you lost your viginity?
It's difficult for a female to have sex with a virgin male. Males usually have sex waaaay earlier than females do anyway. But with that said, I would consider it, I think. But I'd have to be in the right frame of mind - you don't want to mentally scar him and give him a complex. Then no one enjoys him. No, you want to train him right so he always looks back fondly on your time together...... yeah, I've thought too much about this.

5. What is your favorite sexual position? If different, which one do you enjoy the most? [edit: You don't know the name? Do you want to? NWS animations and name]
My lack of sexual contact nowadays says for me to say, "all of them". But usually, it's either a modified missionary or modified doggie.

Bonus (as in optional): Where did you most public "sexual" act take place and what was it?
Hmmm. It's either behind a counter at one of my first jobs, or at a lake at sunset.

Sexy Sunday

2006-11-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

I created a meme over at my other blog today, and since it falls under the "sex" subheading, I'll post it here.

So.... today's video is actually made by someone on Myspace because Paula Cole never made a video for this song. Which is a shame, because this song has been on my "self pleasuring" playlist ever since it came out. And for good reason, too. Just listen to the words.

Paula Cole - Feelin' Love

Add to My Profile | More Videos

God. That's all I can say, is God.

"Feelin' Love" by Paula Cole

You make me feel like a sticky pistil
Leaning into her stamen.
You make me feel like Mr. Sunshine himself.
You make me feel like splendor in the grass where we're rolling
Damn skippy baby
you make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs.

You make me feel love

You make me feel like a candy apple all red and horny
You make me feel like I want to be a dumb blonde
In a centerfold, the girl next door.
And I would open the door and I'd be all wet
With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt
That I'm wearing and you would open the door
And tie me up to the bed.

You make me feel love

Lover, I don't know who I am
Am I Barry White?
Am I hot inside?
What would I place with your hot conscious
Oh baby babe babe babe
I will be your death the moon light
Take your time

You make me feel love

Yep, the lyrics pretty much sum it up for me.

NotJenKateorAnne: Fantasy

2006-11-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

According to Life Style Extra, 52% of British ladies want to fuck a firefighter. ORLY, ladies? U jeeeeelis? I'll be thinking of you all when I'm fucking Scooter's ass.

...... wait a second. :D

here's the complete list:

Overall Top 10 Fantasy Men:

Frank Lampard (22%)
David Beckham (18%)
Johnny Depp (12%)
Daniel Craig (11 %)
Clark Gable (as Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind) (10%)
Orlando Bloom (9%)
Thierry Henry (7%)
Chris Martin (5%)
Alan Rickman (3%)
Jude Law (3%)

Fictional Top 10 Fantasy Men:

Rhett Butler (18%)
Mr Darcy (17%)
James Bond (14%)
Dr Who (David Tennant) (12%)
The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) (11%)
Marc Antony (Richard Burton, Cleopatra) (9%)
Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane, Harry Potter films) (7%)
Captain Kirk (William Shatner, Star Trek TV series) (6%)
Superman (4%)
Alfie (Jude Law) (2%)

Top Five fantasy occupations:

Fireman (52%)
Workman (18%)
Gardener (12%)
Doctor (10%)
Stranger (8%)

Scooter : Sniff... cough

2006-11-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

Okay ladies and gentlmen, we have entered the final day of medications. I still feel like a train wreck, but for the first time in a few days, my sinuses feel a lettle clearer, and I'm not running a fever today either. Not bad.
So, I fully expect to wake up on the morrow, completely healthy and full of vigor. High hopes, I know, but hey I expect a lot from modern medicine.
Here's to my health. *pops pill*
Ah, and to Kate, let's hope this marks a return to the hornies as well.

NotJen: Wet Wednesday

2006-11-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

Wet Wednesday

1. how often do you masturbate?
Depends. Sometimes once every few days, and sometimes multiple times throughout the day. Just depends on the mood.

2. how old were you when you first began masturbating or the first time you masturbated?
I was 15, I believe. But I didn't start regularly masturbating until I was at least... shit, now I have to think. Probably 21 or so. Before then, I was of the opinion that I shouldn't have to take care of myself... my "man" should be doing it. *long pause* .... BWAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah, so now obviously I'm masturbating way more than I've ever had sex. Times ten.

3. have you ever masturbated with a member of your same gender?
Nope. But I'd consider it if she was my type. And don't ask me what my type is - obviously, I haven't narrowed it down yet if I still haven't done it.

4. what do you usually use to stimulate yourself? fingers? hand? toy? porn?
Usually my fingers or the Hitachi Magic Wand - the best invention ever. I rarely watch porn - I'm more prone to listen to it than watch because seriously porn sucks today. Srsly.

5. where do you usually masturbate?
Wherever the mood strikes me - office, bedroom, shower.

Scooter : Sniffle

2006-11-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah, still alive. Still sick. Still whiny, I know. Don't blame me, I got a shitty immune system and it's out of my hands.
As for "Anne" (lol), look bb, 2 days in a row for posts.
I just got back from work and I'm gonna hit the shower and drop the little vaporizer tabs in the tub. Hopefully it'll give me some rest, cuz last night was teh suxor.
I'm on day 2.5 of my meds and that means this flu SHOULD be knocked out by the beginning of next week. Horny Mondays?
Mebbe...

NotJen: Resigned.

2006-11-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

I've resigned myself to the fact that I will not speak to Scoot more than once every three days. It's disappointing, really. When he said that previous relationships have failed because of his schedule, I assumed that it meant that seeing each other would be difficult.

Apparently, it also meant speaking to each other via IM every three days or so, and speaking once on the phone. Yeah, it's his job. Yeah, it's him having the flu/allergies/what have you. Yeah, it's being however many hours apart.

But still.

I don't date a lot because I don't believe in going on dates in order to get to know someone. In today's Intarweb age, there's no need. There's email, there's instant messages, there's the phone. The time spent in person shouldn't be spent on trivial shit like "well I didn't know you were lactose intolerant" or "I didn't know you love Friday's Jack Daniels shrimp" or "gee, you don't like drinking tea when you're at a restaurant because it tastes 'off'? I didn't know!" Dates should be spent having fun and enjoying each others' company.

At the rate we're going, we'll meet sometime before the summer. End sarcasm.

Yes, I'm feeling bitter today. Sue me. Hit me. I don't care.

The Boy : Is Infected... With Rage

2006-11-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

I cannot begin to tell you how pissed I am. I have the fucking flu. WTF! I went and got the shot 2 weeks ago, so I wouldn't get sick this year. An ounce of prevention because of how many sick people we see every year. So, tell me how in the hell I manage to get the fucking flu! I've been sick for like 3 days and I finally broke down and went to a doc in the box ( I detest going to the doctor, and I refuse to take medication if I can avoid it, I only go to the doc if I feel like I'm dying ). So after an hour in the waiting room and a blood draw later, I'm told that I have influenza type b, or II, I can't remember.
The hell?
I was unaware that there were multiple letters and roman numerals cavorting around with the flu. Perhaps I have been left out of some sort of information loop, and obviously that loop knows how to innoculate against the RIGHT kind of fucking flu. This sucks, and apparently I'm still contagious until I finish my stupid pills. Fuck this.
It's bad enough not getting good sleep, but couple that with the fact that I have been constantly tired since I got sick, and you get one very unhappy Scoot.
Well, I'm gonna get, and see if she's online (The Girl/ Lana/ Jen/ Sydnee/ Kate/ Female Sawyer). LOL *cough, cough*
Fuck this flu.

The Girl/Lana/Jen: Random Thoughts

2006-11-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

I miss his voice. :(

The Girl: Renameage???

2006-11-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

I have to have a name. I'm sorry. But I'm so tired of "The Girl". I hate being "The Girl". The pet names are fine when Scoot's addressing me. But it seriously throws me off balance. I see "The Girl" and I think, "......... who the hell is that?"

SERIOUSLY!

So I'm throwing around some names. I'm thinking of going with Jen/nifer because my middle school english teacher called me that. She said I looked like a Jennifer. How fucking embarrassing is it that your fucking teacher doesn't remember your name. Not just for one year. Every year I was at that school, she called me Jennifer when she saw me. Even years later when I went to the school to pick my brother up from her class, she said, "OMFG Jennifer how are you!!!!!!!"

....... as Ashlee would say, "Not Jennifer, motherfucker."

What's also on the menu would be "Lana" and "Sean" as a throwback to that romance novel I mentioned in a previous post. Which I think is hilarious, since the book in question deals with firefighters.

So Rob, what do you think? Lana and Sean? Jennifer?

Whoa.

2006-11-05T02:24:00.000-08:00

Last night, we hit 1,000 hits. Not too shabby for a secret blog. =)

The Girl: The Ex

2006-11-05T01:33:00.000-08:00

My ex has been pestering me so much to see him that I'm almost tempted to make him fly to Texas and then just "forget" that he's here.

That sounds mean, but let's do a "quick review" of our "relationship" (ooooo "Here Comes the Hotstepper" just came on 806!!!) .

I was friends with C for about two years when he began pestering me to see him, to "Give him a chance, dammit!" His words, not mine. I thought he was nice, and I was already mildly attracted to him, but I don't date readers of my journal or members of my porn site. It's just a personal rule I have. But he started saying the right things, and dammit, I had hit Year One of Involuntary Celibacy six months prior, so I said we'd talk.

We spent the next few months talking no fewer than a couple of hours a day. Emails, IMs, phone calls... communication-wise, it was very ideal. It was that "new relationship smell" thing I love so much.

*hint hint, scooter!!!!1!!!1*

I grew fond of him over time. Sure, he had his quirks, but hello? I ain't no frickin' catch myself. We had rounds of horrible phone sex where he faked orgasms and never finished me off, but phone sex is definitely an art, so I thought nothing of it.

In September, he asked me to meet him in Vegas for a joint birthday thing (our birthdays are a couple of weeks apart). I crunched numbers and couldn't afford to do it. It was his idea to fly to Texas. In fact, I tried to discourage him from doing it, and he wouldn't hear of it. At first, the plan was to drive to see him every day, but eventually, I just stayed with him. He was a nice guy, easy to be around... plus his hotel room had two beds. Delish.

To answer Rob-our-only-reader's-unspoken-question, yes we had sex. No, we did not have good sex. It was maybe a 3 on a 1-10 scale. Such a disappointment. To get to the nitty gritty (scooter, skip down to the next paragraph), he was long enough but very skinny. Just no sort of "meat" on him. That and... ok, not to sound rude or whatever, but it was almost like he hadn't had a lot of experience sexually. He either didn't know how to fuck for longer than a few seconds in one position, or didn't care to know. It was entirely disappointing. Plus, he had a weird "come" face. It creeped me out.

During our sex, while I wasn't satisfied, I did think that maybe I could get used to it. I mean, my only relationship experiences have been with sex and intimacy taking a back seat.

Oh! That reminds me. C sucked at kissing, too. I KNOW! It was such a disappointment. He kissed me how he might kiss a very sick relative in the hospital for cancer treatments. Very light, like he was scared he was going to break me.

So sad.

So anyhoo, so I figured that I could deal with the bad sex and the horrible kissing because he was nice. And I needed someone nice. While we were together, we hit up a few local things - the Galleria, the Zoo (my favorite place to go - I'm a zoo whore)... it was nice. Our last day together, C's attitude changed, like he was trying to disconnect. I repeatedly asked him what was wrong and he kept saying that everything was alright. I told him not to be scared of saying something that might hurt my feelings and he got pissy and said that it was almost like I wanted him to tell me that he didn't want to see me again. I told him that, no, it wasn't that at all. He just seemed distant and I wanted to know why. He said that everything was fine.

I drove him to the airport and he was quiet the whole way there. I tried to start a conversation but he didn't latch on, so I shut my mouth. I dropped him off at the airport with a polite hug and a goodbye. I told him to call me once he landed so I'd know he was ok. He said sure.

C's plane landed in New York about five hours later. By eleven o'clock that night - six hours later - I still hadn't heard from him so I called. He didn't answer his phone, so I left a message, asking him to call me.

He called me back the next day and said everything was fine but he was ending our relationship because we - get this - were moving too fast. This from the person that spent two years convincing me to give him a chance. So apparently everything was not "alright" as he swore to me just the day before. So yeah, you can imagine how livid I was. I called him out on the actions the day before and he said, and I quote, "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt you."

................. the fuck? Didn't I tell you that I was a big girl, and I could handle rejection?

I was just......... done. I told him off and hung up. If there's anything I hate in this world, it's that stupid mentality of "well I wasn't honest with you like you begged me to be because I didn't want to hurt you. because i know that you're a female and females have a tendency to say they want you to be honest, but as soon as you are, they get pissed off at you for hurting their feelings."

And you know, that is a valid point. Most women ARE like that. However, he knew me. He KNEW me. He knew for a long, long time that he was to be honest with me at all costs. And he still pulled that shit. Ugh. I still feel dirty.

A month or so later, I got an IM from C asking me how I was and if I was dating. In that precise order. I told him I was fine and I was "contemplating my options". He tells me that he was sorry for his previous actions and he asked if he could see me again. He actually begged me for several weeks before I told him that if I did give him that chance, we'd have to take it absurdly slow because I still wasn't sure if I could trust him.

Plus, I'm a sucker. Most girls are.

We began talking again, but nothing at all like how we were before. Our conversations were polite but that was it. He didn't make any effort to get back in my good graces. But still, I wanted to give it that last chance. That and I was too horny to go through the whole getting-to-know-you process again. You can tell I'm too horny when I'm contemplating sex with a shitty fuck. Sad.

It was about a month or so later that I posted a story about an ex on my other blog. Just my usual thing - actually, just like I'm doing now.

(omfg "Ooo baby I love you way" just came on!!!!!! ILU 806!!!!!!)

The night I posted the story, C IMs me. He seemed drunk, but who knows. He proceeds to tell me that he went out with a girl that night and almost had sex with her. That and, oh yeah, "she likes biting almost as much as you do."

That was just BEYOND beyond. I was more than done. I cut off communication with him (Again) and he started an onslaught, bombarding me with IMs and emails saying he missed me and wanted another chance and blah blah blah blah. Part of his strategery is to say stuff like, "so when you comin' to yankee country?"

I know, don't you feel wooed?

For the last two weeks, every time I've been online C has IMed me, asking to see me. It's exhausting. I hate those people that only want you when they don't have you. And when they finally get you, they give you bad sex, lie about things being "Alright" and almost have sex with other girls. But as soon as you break it off, they want you back. It's retarded. And it's draining.

It makes me want to drive to Houston, fuck Scooter, take pics, then send them to the ex. "Sorry I didn't answer your last email. I was too busy getting assfucked by a hot firefighter to answer my emails. Enclosed is a sample. Enjoy and good luck finding a sucker, sucker!"

The Girl: on puppets.

2006-11-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

See how I pull the strings? See my little puppet dance? See how I tell him to post an apology and claim me as rightful Alpha, and not only does he do it, he names me Alpha Male!!!!

DANCE, PUPPET, DANCE!!!!!!

The Boy : Accepts His Position

2006-11-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

As you faithful readers may have seen by now (or reader, Hey Rob); Wildcat is by far the superior blogger. Her knowledge of the internetz is astounding and she is the only woman I know who is hornier than me on a daily basis (Jealous, I know). That being said, I am quite the lucky man to be with her.
So it should be no surprise whatsoever to you folks to know... she's the alpha male here.
No, that's not a typo. I said it. Alpha. Male.
Now that's not to say that she's a guy, it just means that she is more superior than I.
She's hotter, she's funnier, she's got the huge sex drive that I am jealous of, AND she goes through internet like nobody's business.

Wildcat is awesome, and she makes my online life much much richer. So I thank her for that. I also need to apologize to her. My last post made her seem a little vindictive. I chalk that up to my lack of blogging experience. It was only meant to let her know that I understood how she felt, being online and not seeing my honey. It came off a little crass, and I'm sorry bb.
Hope you forgive me.

Sincerely,
Your Horny Little Fuck Puppet

The Girl: audio

2006-11-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

The Girl: Wet Wednesday

2006-11-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

Wet Wednesday.

1. what's one fetish that obsesses you, whether you've tried it or not?
Hmmm. People might think that shoes or lingerie or such obsesses me, but it doesn't. It's more like, to me, it's what you do. Sex is so much better when you're pushing your jeans down and hiking your skirt up. Legs look better when you're wearing heels, your ass looks better in lace boyshorts. It's just what you do.

2. what is one fetish that you've never tried but you want to try? why?
I honestly could not tell you. I don't really think in terms of "I MUST TRY THIS!"

3. what is one fetish you would never, EVER try, and why?
Off the top of my head: adult diapering, fuzzy/plushies (dressing up as stuffed animals/mascots), scat, piercing/hooking, bukkake, crushing, bestiality. Oh, and I have to add asphyxiation, because someone once asked to choke me during sex. NO thanks. (here's a good list of fetishes)

4. what was the first fetish you've ever heard about or tried?
Probably the school girl/teacher thing. Not too shabby. Either that or, if I'm talking to a really vanilla person, dildos and vibes. Because some of those "vanilla" people are just tooooooo vanilla for me. "Vibrator????? Vibrators are for hoooooerrrrrrrs!"

5. what non-vanilla activity (that mainstream america would consider NOT societally vanilla) do you do regularly, or used to do regularly?
I think it would be the fact that I'm so open about sex. There's only a short, short list of things I'd never do - aside from those, I'm up for anything, really. Some people - ok, most married people I know - think that one stitch outside the lines is "OMFG IM A HOOOERRRRRRRR!!!!" Because, let's face it, I already am a whore for sex. =)

The Girl.

2006-11-01T10:57:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for the West Coast on Monday. Usually, I'm a late sleepnight owl - I go to sleep at about 5am and wake up around noon. It's how I've been since I was in school - which means that I never got any sleep back then.

On this trip, I'll have to be on a "normal" schedule. Waking up before 9am, going to bed around midnight. Lovely, I know.

So this week, I've been attempting to get my schedule kicked around a bit. That, combined with being sick, may make it harder than I think. So for the last week or so, whenever I get a chance, I've been going to bed at 1-2am. Which is what I did last night. I curled up with my Pookie and Olivia under three layers of covers, doped up on Nyquil and sudafed. I slept ok. I woke up after five hours and couldn't fall back asleep for about 45 minutes, but then I was able to fall asleep.

I woke up about 11am, feeling stuffy and achy and my head was swimming. I came in here to the living room and got on the craptop to check my daily dose of blogs.

And imagine my "surprise" when I saw Scooter's last post. I wish I was genius enough to have thought about making him stay up and wait on me. But to my credit:

1. He never said he'd be online, thus I assumed he would not be.

and

2. I really was sick, on top of trying to get caught up on sleep enough for the West Coast.

But hey. Thanks for thinking that I'd "show you what it's like". I appreciate it, I really do.

The Boy : No, They Don't

2006-11-01T00:12:00.000-08:00

Halloween is over, the kids have stopped showing up for delicious candies, work is not for another day, and The Girl is nowhere to be found. It is now 2 am and I have been online for over an hour and a half. No Girl. :(
I will be the first to offer up that I didn't email yesterday or get online last night. But, I have never really lived my life online. I guess I don't fall under the typical figures of people on the interwebz. The media would have you believe that a typical computer user spends between 3 and 5 hours online per day. Myself, not so much. I spend about 20 minutes online, checking email and firing off responses. I only approach the 4 or 5 hour mark online when The Girl is online. And I'll be honest, before I met Wildcat, I could go days without the net. So this brings me to my question of the night.
Q: Why have I been online for the last (almost) 2 hours?
A: Waiting.
Well played Wildcat, well played.

The Girl: they don't all have clever titles.

2006-10-31T11:10:00.000-08:00

I've avoided posting here for a few days. It just got to the point where I was checking this blog and my email fifty times a day, looking for any sort of contact from Scooter. And I am not That Girl. I don't like being That Girl that sits idly by without hearing anything from her boyfriend.

Yes, yes, yes, I know he's got crazy hours with his job. Yes, I get that. Yes, I know.

But I'm still allowed to bitch. I'm in an all-around bad mood, and it's really not a good idea for me to be posting now. But I don't care. I'm horny, I'm too sick to get off, I haven't been laid in months, I'm leaving next week and I'm stressed out about it.

I'm just going to turn lesbian. I mean, we all know chicks call you 10 times a day just to say "hi" anyway, right?

Ooooooooo pwnd my gender.

The Boy : Digital Coitus Interruptus

2006-10-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

As The Girl has previously stated, yes, we got interrupted. And yes, it happens way too often for my liking. As such, I have to really praise her for her patience. To hear her tell it, she has no patience, period. I, however, believe she is either:
a) more patient than she gives herself credit for
b) just a more patient person when it comes to me

In either case, I gotta hand it to her. It's not every woman who can get all worked up, hot and bothered, and then just laugh it off when Scooter has to go for a job.
That is a rare woman indeed. It makes me want her more, and really appreciate the kind of girl I've got here.

The Girl: a typical night with The Boy

2006-10-28T01:58:00.000-07:00

scooter: Right now, I'd put it in your mouth.
wildcat: with you laying down or standing up?
scooter: Standing. you on your knees
wildcat: hmmmm
wildcat: that sounds reasonable.
wildcat: what would i be wearing?
scooter: The knee high boots that I chose for you from VS and nothing else
wildcat: lovely.
scooter: Woud you rather be wearing something else?
wildcat: no, i think it's perfect.
scooter: Mmm... you are perfect bb. I love your body. I can't wait to lose myself in it.
wildcat: ORLY?
scooter: YARLY
scooter: I want to know every inch of you, how you feel, how you taste, how you react to my touch.
wildcat: someone's horny
scooter: Your smell, your laugh,
scooter: DAMMIT!
scooter: got a run!!!!!
wildcat: HAHAHAHAH
scooter signed off at 2:39:20 AM.

You laugh but most of our conversations end like this. It's kinda funny in a sad sort of way.

The Boy : Everybody's Working For The Weekend

2006-10-27T23:48:00.003-07:00

Yeah. Working again. I hope the girl isn't too peeved at me. I am online at least, although she doesn't appear to be. I am thinking she is invisible on IM and this does 2 things.
1. Verify the fact that she is peeved as she is possibly avoiding me.
2. Makes me sad.
In either case, I am going to remain on the intarwebz in case she decides to hop on, and I'll disappear only if we catch a job.
C'mon stinky, where are you?

The Boy : Can't Hang Like He Used To

2006-10-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

As many a friend can attest to, I used to be quite the party animal. Hanging out with the boys until 4 am or later while pounding back brews and later "getting some sexual, tonight", was a common occurrance for me. This was only a few years back.
What the fuck happened to me?
I have been staying in quite a lot lately, not only to save money, but I've been working overtime and spending time with Wildcat. So, yesterday my friends decide to have an "intervention". A "let's get the boy out and have some fun" kind of day. Destination of choice? The strip club, where else?
I hung out, pounded back some beers, had more than a handful of shots. All good. I feel like my old self here, but without the sexual prospect because my dick koozie is over 4 hours away. So imagine my surprise when I can't function any more after the 5th hour of drinking. Weak sauce.
I had to be driven by a buddy to his house and I passed out until 3 in the fucking morning! He was not happy to drive me back to my truck, but hey, that's the price you pay for separating me from my ride. So I go home, sleep until I have to get up for work and I feel like dog shit today.
Let's recap.
Couldn't keep up with my boys, and drink for drink put me on my ass.
I couldn't drive home, and had to be driven back to my truck like a bitch.
No sex.
Not hungover, but definitely dragging ass today.

How the mighty have fallen.

The Girl: My Baby Daddy

2006-10-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

The best askmefi question (of the day, anyway):

What can an "old lady" call her man?

The poster goes on to say that she doesn't want to call him "Old Man" because that's what she calls her dad.

I love all of these names. They're very entertaining. The Boy has a few nicknames from me already:

The Boy (duuuuuuuuuuuuuuh)
Scooter
Scoot
Habibi
Bitch

Obviously that last one is reserved for sexual congress. So I'm tooling down the list to find some other suggestions. Here's the better of the rest:

there's always the gender neutral 'ball and chain'

old fucker?

My ride?

I call my fiance "Chief."

Significant Otter. Or just "otter". ("Sure, I'd love to. Have to ask the Otter if we have any plans I don't know about, though.")

"The meal ticket."

Elephant Cock. Nothing else will ever do him justice.

Captain. Nothing says love and mutual understanding more than a sarcastic "aye aye, Capt'n" every once in a while. Bossman has similar potential for snark.

My Lover. My Domestic Partner. Dearest. My Escort. The Kid. And in tribute to 6 Feet Under, Your Fuck Puppet.

Your Baby Daddy. Bonus points if you're childless and intend to remain so.

Your "first husband".

Do you plan on having kids ever? Sperm Donor.

Mr. your maiden name

Mr. Your first name and maiden name (I like this one much better cause it much better illustrates the ridiculousness of our traditional name-changing conventions)

Old lady. As in: "I'd like you to meet John. He's my old lady."

So after conferring with The Boy, here's the new ones I'm adding to the list:

My First Ex Husband to be
Cap (but only when he gets the title of Captain)
Mr. (myfirstname) (mylastname)
Baby Daddy
Old Lady

You know what's great? I can call The Boy any of these names, and he doesn't get bent out of shape because of a name that sounds negative, or of a name that implies our future together.

<3

The Girl: TMI Tuesday

2006-10-24T02:53:00.000-07:00

1. How long have you known your closest current friend? (The one you see or talk to the most not necessarily your bestest goodest friend from grade school.)
If my "closest friend" is defined as the person I speak to the most, then it's definitely a few people from my other blog. I speak to one/both every single day for hours on end - for at least the last 3 years. A far, far second by comparison would be another blogging friend. Habibi/Scooter/The Boy would rank on the List if he'd actually talk to me once every other day. Ooooooooo. Pwnd.

2. My Heritage has a cool little toy that tells you which celebrity you most resemble. With or without the help of My Heritage, who do you most resemble?
With it's help, I look like the lovechild of Rudolph Valentino and Katherine Hepburn, or what would happen if Halle Berry had a baby with someone of asian decent. Since I'm the most WhiteBread girl I know, I find that hilarious. Without it's help, I've been told that I resemble Ashley Judd and Alyson Hannigan - I even got the Leah Remini call once. Scary, because I find all of those girls hot.

3. Name 5 things an unplanned (or planned) visitor would find in your bedroom?
An oscillating fan, pj pants on the floor, Pookie under the covers, an old tshirt on one of the pillows (don't laugh, but really helps with breakouts) and Olivia.

4. What is your favorite TV or movie sex scene?
So many choices... but I'm going to go with the sex scene from Mr & Mrs Smith...

...

and for that matter, the Bogota dance scene (which happens to feature one of my all-time favorite songs).

...

The Bogota dance scene pretty much sums up what I want in a relationship. <3

5. If your life was a movie what would be your most memorable sex scene? (And your first time doesn't count unless that was as good as it has ever been.)
Memorable as in "best" would be with a manager I worked with that resembled Vin Diesel. It was a case of "we're attracted to one another, just out of relationships and really horny - let's drink alcohol and screw!!!" What was "best" about it was that the foreplay lasted for hours and - AND - he used an English accent while he was fucking me, at first to mock my gaganess over foreign accents and then it turned a bit more hot. Memorable as in "memorable" would either be my first time (because the only reason why I lost my virginity to my best friend was because I was tired of my mother freaking out over it, and because I lost my virginity in the backroom of a store we worked at together) or when I fucked The DJ (who wasn't a DJ - he just worked at a radio station and just laid there. No moving. Oy.).

Bonus (as in optional): Share something that very few people know about you.
Hmmmm. I like what I do for a living and get off on it? I have a tendency to view myself as a very girly looking man and detest being called a girl at times? You know my "Worst" - the baby thing. I can't think of anything else.

The Boy: audio

2006-10-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

The Girl: A Fairly Serious Talk.

2006-10-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

Before I go any further, I need to input that I wasn't hurt or angry or anything like that by Scooter's post. Maybe a bit disappointed that we didn't speak for a while... but I already know it's because of his job. It's something I'll have to get used to. But if his lack of communication is the worst thing we've come into yet, and that's because of his job... I think we'll be fine. =)

Now, onto my post.

So Habibi and I have been swimming along quite... er... swimmingly. I think that we get along very well. I've never had a case of "...... how dare he! Well, oh well. I'm hard up and he's hot. So I'll shut my mouth and deal with it."

Maybe he's had a case, but I haven't. (oooooooooo! pwnd!)

Last night the conversation steered toward a certain topic that I've wanted to ask about for a long time but didn't know how. You see, about two years ago, I decided that I didn't want to have my own children. It's partly a "my mother is clinically insane, so is her mother, so's my father's mother, and that's not including all of the cancers and diseases running about" type thing as well as a "Well..... childbirth simply doesn't appeal to me."

Which sounds weird, yes. But I know women - like, I'm good friends with them - that talk about pregnancy as though it was the new version of Firefox (which for me and scoot is a VERY BIG DEAL!!!!!!!). "I loooooooooove being pregnant! I feel so beautiful and sexy when I'm pregnant. I love feeling another little person inside me!"

Excuse me while I barf.

It just does. Not. Appeal to me. At all. And at first, I was resigned to it. At some point, I'd like to have a kid, but I wasn't crazy about the pregnancy deal and I really didn't care for the infant thing. I've worked in daycares before and normal rotation sends you through the infant room. I would always trade my rotation because I do not feel good around little babies. I feel like I'm going to break them if I have to hold them, so I don't. They're too loud, too smelly and they don't listen to you.

Yes, I know how crazy this sounds, but that should just cement my psychosis firmly in the "definitely yes she's mental" category, don't you think?

Now, give me a kid that's learning to communicate and I'm a pig in mud. I've found that my "maternal instinct" kicks in with babies around 10 months at the very earliest. The silly faces, learning to walk..... I can definitely do that. Of course, I think toddlers and 3 year olds are The Shit. They're so cool - you don't have to be "So" delicate with them, you really feel like you're showing them the world and they're appreciating it, you can accidentally teach them to say "FUCK". It's brilliant.

God, I'm going to get so much hate mail for this.

So, yeah. I knew that if I wanted a child - which I do - I'd have to, you know, have it. I thought I'd have to get pregnant and hate every second of it, then have a baby that I'm not too crazy about..... which that whole thing goes against my line of thinking. I think that if one of the two parents aren't crazy about having a baby, they shouldn't have one... period. It didn't occur to me until a couple of years ago that I could adopt internationally. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. My current plan is to wait until I'm 30 before I delve into the adoption circus.

Anyhoo, back to the original topic. I've talked about wanting to adopt rather than have "real" children several times on my other websites, but I knew that Scoot hadn't read all of my archives, so I didn't want to assume anything. I needed to talk to him about it before we got too emotionally invested in each other. Last night was the perfect opportunity. The subject came around and I let it be known that I'm just not into the idea of having a baby, but that I really did want to adopt later on.

Scooter is actually sorta of the same opinion. He'd rather adopt than have his own children, but he could change his mind later on down the road, at which case he'll evaluate the situation - and if he really wants a child and we just have a "relationship" not a "soul mate" type thing, he'll leave.

In a twisted sort of way, it makes sense. I'd do the same thing. Think about it. If the positions were reversed, and he went into our relationship not wanting children at all and then suddenly, 3 years later I decide "I have to have my own children! I'm sorry! I can't not have a child! I love you but I want a baby of my own!", well.... I'd want Scooter to leave. I don't want him to be obligated to put up with me. Because what if I did have our baby and he just stood by me? And then the years tick by and he gets more and more frustrated because HE DIDN'T WANT A BABY IN THE FIRST PLACE. If I was the product of a woman that loved me to tears and a father that didn't really want me, that would be a real mindfuck - just like it would if my father really wanted me and my mother just gave birth to me to keep my father happy.

True, it was a sort of intense conversation. But I really did need for it to happen now. It would have been absolutely pissy of me to wait a year or so and say, "oh, babe...... you do know that I don't want to have kids of my own, right?" I think that was our biggest hurdle, even surpassing the distance between us. I mean, it's not like I'm in New York and Scooter's in San Diego (which means "whale's vagina", btw). We're just a few hours' drive from each other - at most, a 1 hour flight. And I seriously can't think of anything that would be "worse" than the Baby Talk.

I'd like your input on what would conceivably (oh, haha, you surely jest!) be worse than this talk.

The Boy : Hates ISPs

2006-10-22T21:12:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back. I realize and acknowledge the fact that it has been almost 60 hours since I've had contact with the girl. I do feel horrible about the whole ordeal. Here is the skinny on what happened, and you can call me names and talk about me behind my back later on.
After the last conversation with The Girl, I was feeling hung over. We had our FIRST (!!!!!!) real conversation on skype. I must admit that hearing her laugh and get on with her little conversations, made me have a huge high (see erection). But, it was close to 7 am when we got off the line with eachother. Her choice, not mine. See, I was so adamant on staying on the line with her, that I was beginning to fall asleep! "How could you do that?" you may ask. Well, it's hard to answer that. She is afterall a cute little sexpot and does drive me wild. But I had been up for 24 hours at that point. Soo.... After she wakes me up and tells me to go to bed, I do. For two hours. I am up at 9 am to shower, shave, all the little things that make up my morning ritual before I head off to work. I had every intent on blogging when I got there. Some new post, an email, or even a photo for my lovely. Alas, it was not to be. You see, at the work we have a little thing called DSL. And since we've had it installed, it has done two things.
1. Work extremely slow... so slow that I cannot even stream Youtube videos without waiting for about 2 minutes. We're talking dial-up era waiting here folks.
2. Break at the worst possible times.
It chose to do #2 that day. Which means absolutely cut off from the outside world as we know it. I have no internets. :(
"But why not call and leave an audio post?"
Well, that is the other dilemma, in my post-hangover sleepy haziness (my term for being so tired you feel like a train wreck) I left my nice little celly phone at the house.
Boooo.

The shift continues on as it tends to do, and we get hammered for 24 hours. Little sleep that night, we only get woken up 4 times, at 1, 3:30, 4 somethingish, and 6 45 ish. At this point I'm running on a concurrent 2 and a half hours sleep over the past 48 hours. I'm not complaining at this point mind you, but it is getting awfully puffy under these eyes of mine.
So, 24 hours later I'm afraid that The Girl is getting let down (come to find out, she is).
I have every intent on going home, calling the voiceblog and leaving a message. Not gonna happen. I get a phone call offering me a 24 hour overtime opportunity. Yeah... not gonna pass up that money. We're talking almost a doubling of my paycheck when it comes out. So off to another station I go. The problem there is they have no internets period. So again I am cut off from the world at large until I get off of work.

Enter current day.
It's Sunday, it's late, I slept almost all day long catching up on the sleep I missed out on. I am going to hop on IM and hopefully cheer The Girl up. I don't know if she's angry, sad, or feeling neglected. But I hope that by tomorrow we have the net back at work in all of it's slow-ass glory so I don't put her through this again.

The Girl: FAMOUS?!?!?!

2006-10-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

We got our first comment today on the previous post. WE R TEH FAMOUZ!!!! So hello to Rob and thank you for stopping by and breaking our comment cherry. =)

The Girl: has a long-winded inner battle.

2006-10-22T00:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's my prolific blogging - I've been blogging almost every day since 2001, so to me, it's habit. I love blogging. I crave blogging. The first thing I think of when something happens to me is, "this would make the best post EVER!" But then again, I do recognize that not everyone posts upwards of 3 times a day. I also recognize that many people won't even blog more than every other day. I ran across a survey a year or so ago that said that out of all the people out there that start new blogs, over 80% will not last longer than 6 months, starting off with one post a day, then trinkling down to once a week, then once every month or so before it's abandoned.

Maybe it's the geek in me, but an abandoned blog makes me sad.

The point of the survey is that in this New Age of Teh Internet (i love saying that. hah!), everyone and their brother is jumping on the blogging bandwagon because it's "new" and "cool". After the new car smell wears off, the blogs are abandoned.

A blogger that's blogged consistently for at least a year (meaning, without having a hiatus of any kind) is sort of uncommon. Two years, pretty rare. So imagine how 5+ years is. I'm practically ancient. Oy. Then again, I know a few people that have blogged for about that long. We're like the Bridge Club of Teh Net.

Factor in that almost every blogger I've known - be it a friend that started blogging or a blogger I befriended - has abandoned their blog after only a few months. I currently speak to (or until last week, did) 3 bloggers on a friendly basis. Everyone else gave their blog up. It's because the new bloggers realize that while blogging may be "hip", not everyone finds it fun. Not everyone enjoyed English class in school, did they?

So on one hand, I think that I shouldn't expect any sort of blog posts from Scooter/Junior/Foofy Foofy/The Boy, because the odds point to him not posting on an even somewhat coherant schedule. But then on the other hand, I'm like, "..... well... I try to post once a day. He should make the effort, too. Or if we go a few days without speaking, he should make a post in that time. I'd do it."

And therein lies my problem. "I do ______, thus I hold everyone to those expectations." I do that in everything.

"Well, I called him on my way home and asked him what he wanted for dinner. He told me. I picked it up. I do that every time. He's never done it once!"

or maybe:

"You know, whenever I walk past him, I make it a point to touch him - either a light touch on the small of his back or a full-on grab to the ass or cock. I do that every time I walk past him. But he never touches me."

or the all too common:

"I always initiate sex. Always. The once-in-three-months times he's initiated, it's been when I'm so obviously in a wretched mood and don't feel like being fucked."

It's just frustrating to log into TGL 50 times a day and hope to see a new post, but then never see one. Same thing with emails and such. I'm so easily spoiled, because I've really gone a long time with attention (sexual attention is one thing - that's for work. you know what i mean). So I guess that whenever I do get a little bit of attention, I get adjusted to it. So then I expect the conversations daily and such, and when I don't get them, I feel neglected.

Note: I realize that Scoot has a very unconventional schedule, and he's not sitting in front of a computer all day like I am. I realize this. I accept it. This sounds really out there, but work with me: I sometimes feel like he's off galavanting the countryside on his offtime, hanging out with friends, hooking up with chicks... and I'm stuck here, constantly checking my email and TGL to see if he's updated or emailed yet. It's embarrassing to say that, but it's true. It's a combination of somewhat insecurity, being roughly 4 hours away from one another, and being a tad OCD. So I do tend to fixate on things. I highly doubt (because I could never truly know since I'm here - I'm just saying that I know how he thinks and reacts and that's what I'm basing my opinions on. i really don't want to be one of those "oh, but i KNOW HIM! he would NEVER cheat on me!" girls. ) that he's "playing the field" while I sit at home checking for his emails and waiting for a post. But that's how I feel.

And TGL is here for me to be honest about everything I'm going through - be it good, bad, horrible, or downright insane. I think this qualifies as Insane. I suppose this is just another Vent. But still. I'm allowed to be selfish and want more attention.

Like a creepy obsessive boyfriend.

The Girl: is frustrated.

2006-10-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

No reason for posting this. I just happen to like Bea Arthur. And that's pretty much my mood right now.

Carry on.

The Girl: .......... where was I?

2006-10-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

One really bad thing about abstaining from sexual congress - be it voluntarily or involuntary - is that the longer you go without having sex, the more you need it. Sure, there are days when I don't think about anything sexual and I don't masturbate... but then, there are the other days. Days when I've seriously contemplated the ramifications if I had sex with the not-very-attractive UPS man.

(which, btw, isn't it illegal for UPS to employee deliverymen that do not rank higher than a 7 on a 1-10 Attractiveness Scale? just saying...)

Yes, it's happened. I've seriously thought about fucking random people. That's what happens when you go so long without sex - and even longer without great sex. So when I see images like the one above (from the movie Fascination), my mind sorta hits a speedbump. I forget what I'm doing or saying, and I get engrossed. It's truly a case of ".......... where was I?"

Ten minutes later and I'm still sitting there - staring, lusting, daydreaming, what have you. It's embarrassing. Images like the one above make me mentally compile great sex scenes and run them over and over again. They don't even have to be actual "Sex" scenes:

The first time I saw that scene, I thought I was going to DIE - it's simply insane how erotic it is. I crave that. Sometimes, all I need is a really great kiss. True, most of the time, I'd prefer a great fuck that makes me forget my name. But I digress.

In my conversation last night with Junior (don't you love that I have all these little names for him?!?!?!), we came into the topic of harlequin romance novels (I think he was talking about his degree, and I asked him what it was for - in a smut novel I have, the heroine (a firefighter, and so is the hero) gets a degree and aspires to be an arson investigator, blah blah blah). We started talking about the over-the-topness in those novels, and I had to admit that I want it. I think being single for so long has made me realize what I will and won't put up with. Anything less than 100% passion is something I don't want. I got tired of settling and putting up with bullshit. I've been dating for about ten years now, and the majority of that was spent inside 2 bad relationships that ended with me walking away with nothing but a dog, a suitcase and a bruised heart. Never again. Yeah, romance novels are kinda smarmy and over the top, but I suppose they have to be that way to compensate for the lack of true romance and passion out there in the real world. To steal a bit from a former blog of mine:

What do I want? Passion. The kind where you enter a room, and your gut tells you that something, something is going to happen. The kind that exists between two people that instantly know of their connection from one glance. The kind that builds until it's so thick that everyone around you can't help but comment on it.

I want the flirting that isn't held back for fear of offending. I want the long, hazy stares from across the room that end when one of us calls "uncle" and looks away with flushed cheeks and heavy breathing. I want the air filled with electricity. I want everything I've been lacking since I first noticed boys and felt what "butterflies" were.

Maybe I've seen too many movies and read too many books in my long absence of men. "Movie Passion"… does that even exist? Is "Harlequin Blaze Novel Passion" even around outside of black ink on off-white pages?

That's pretty much a true statement from myself. That's exactly what I want. I want all that mushy stuff. The slow dances in the cereal aisle at the market, kisses on the back of my hand, my hair being brushed off of my neck.

"Mooshy", I know. Feel free to mock.

This is a long post, so I'm going to wrap it up here and touch on it again in another post.

[author edit: i keep staring at that photo!!!!!!!!!!"]

The Girl.

2006-10-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that Scooter's audio was hot? Am I allowed to say that here, or does it come off as shallow endorsement? Because it really and truly was hot and I'll definitely think of it later at "work". The whole time I was listening, I went between "omg did he really say that?" and "........fuck, he sounds GOOD!"

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a very lucky girl.

The Boy: Audio

2006-10-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

The Girl: Phone sex ROCKS!

2006-10-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

In my current profession, I tend to have phone sex. It's part of the gig. Taking erotic photos, videos, audio, that sort... phone sex falls into that category. Usually, my job consists of moaning, "fuck, baby" into a phone while I paint my toenails or change out the laundry. It's pretty righteous - it gives me something laugh at later on in the day, and I get paid what equals out to be $180 an hour to do it. And I don't have to touch anyone. Not too shabby.

My latest "victim" was a man called "Russ". He was pretty nervous to talk to me, which I can understand. I've gotten that way a few times when I check out a website religiously and I get to talk to the person behind it. We talked for about 30 minutes before I started working him over. With someone that nervous, it doesn't take much. I spent my time focused on him and occasionally threw in a "that sounds really good, Russ. How does it feel?"

It would have been better if when he said he was looking at one of my photos, he didn't tell me that he was thinking about:

"I'm thinking about rubbing my dick and coming all over your VAGINA!"

Ouch. That hurt. "Vagina"? Are you being serious with that? Why not just say "Vulva"?

Anyhoo. I passed the time by thinking I was talking to Scooter and.... I actually got a bit turned on! Yeah, I found it pretty interesting. It didn't help that Russ has a similar voice to Scooter's. It gave me thoughts of throwing Scooter down on the floor and raping his mouth with my tongue while I grind against his cock.

Ugh. Now I'm horny again.

The Boy : Attempts TMI Tuesday

2006-10-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

It's time for . 5 questions, 1 theme. Easy.

1. What is your worst habit?
I frequently make plans that I for one reason or another forget to do. It's not that I am a forgetful person, after all I ALWAYS remember what I should have done after the time I was supposed to do it has passed. So... I guess you could say I'm not forgetful, but my brain doesn't recall things in a punctual manner. It is unfair really, my brain is on a slow time release like a mentally challenged Tylenol Gelcap. Clearly I am a candidate for an organizer or PDA, but I can't use those things without feeling like a total tool. "You're a firefighter, how busy could your life possibly be?" Well, obviously pretty damned busy, otherwise this wouldn't be my worst habit.

2. Does size matter?
Hmmm.... If you are asking me whether I am self conscious about the size of my member, then no. It doesn't matter. I am pretty satisfied with what I got, and I've never had any complaints from any of my former girlfriends.
Now, getting to the size of parts of the female anatomy, it does, to a small degree. I have always been a big believer that when it comes to breast size that bigger is better. That opinion changed a few years ago when I was dating "Lynn". If I remember correctly she had a cup size 34 A. Or B (boy it's been a while hasn't it?). Anywhoo, I must say, that smaller breasts are eager breasts. I almost prefer them now. Don't get me wrong, it's a little bit of a turnoff when my chest is bigger than a girls, but if a girl presents them right, a B cup can catch my eye faster than a D cup any day of the week.

3. How many orgasms have you had in one night?
With "Carmen" I had a total of 3 orgasms in one night. It was after a night of particularly heavy drinking and some time spent at the strip club. Carmen liked watching me get dances, and decided to get a few of her own that night. Simply put, HAWT. By the time we made it back to my place we were literally tearing eachother's clothes off. 6 hours later, I had my last orgasm and she and I crashed out.

4. Is sex better with the lights on or off?
Sex is better with the lights off. Definitely. It's okay to have some dim lights, candles, or a light through a window, but sex with the lights on takes a little bit of the mystery away. Stark shadows are more sexual than harsh lighting any day of the week.

5. How many sexual partners have you had?
Believe it or not, Scooter has only had 6 partners. I was under the assumption that it was 5, but it turns out that a dirty trick was played on me and one turned out to be two. Thanks to Rochelle and Ann, I had to add another talley mark to my total. Scooter was not happy about this.
Now, having 6 partners is not to say that I'm not sexually experienced. I've had my fair share, but let's just leave it at the fact that I have slept with 6 distinct sexually active women.

Bonus (as in optional): Would you be unfaithful if you knew your guy/girl would never find out?
Well, no. I have done it in the past, but I was unhappy about it afterwards. It ruined a friendship I had with another girl and a friend of mine. So in my younger himbo days, yes I would have done it as soon as the panties hit the floor, but now, I don't want to think about it. Sex is in itself too easy to have, I am finding that more and more, I am really striving to have a meaningful relationship.

The Girl: TMI Tuesday

2006-10-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

It's time for . 5 questions, 1 theme. Easy.

1. What is your worst habit?
My worst sexual habit........ would have to be my insecurities during sex. I get worried about the way I look, so I have a tendency to wear clothing and/or lingerie during sex that make me feel better. Bras are good, skirts or dresses around my tummy and hips are even better. Dim lights or candles are the best. I'm not saying that I can't have sex without those things, but I'm definitely saying that I'll get more into it if I don't have to worry about insefuckingcurities. I also get insecure about the noises I make... that is, until I'm so into what's going on that I just forget and scream my bloody head off and don't care how I look. Which is fine in theory, but then afterwards, I'm worried about how I looked and sounded. To this day I still worry about my past sexual relations. "God, I looked so horrible. I hope he forgives me."

2. Does size matter?
Yes and no. It matters in the sense that, if it's under what the national "Average" is, you're going to get all pissy and make excuses. "Well, it's not that big. Eh, it's long but thin." Who cares? Really? That's like the male equivalent of girls moaning about their weight, trying to get their guy to say, "baby, you're perfect. hush." but on a bigger level. With you guys, even if I tell you 100 times that you're "perfect", you're going to bitch and moan about it. I'll probably leave you because you reach a level of bitterness that I can't even fathom. So no, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. If you're not comfortable with your size, then learn to use it to your advantage. Be confident. I've been fucked better by a guy with 5 inches than I was by the guy with 10 inches - at least guys with 5 inches and are insecure will work harder for my orgasm. And really, isn't that what it's all about? =)

Oh, and for the record: what I've seen of Scooter.... he has nothing to worry about.

3. How many orgasms have you had in one night?
It's probably around 3 or 4. I've never participated in an all-night marathon (go on, laugh!), so we're talking 3-4 or more during maybe a 1-2 hour fucking. If you want to call it that. Ahem.

4. Is sex better with the lights on or off?
This is not my insecurity talking, BUT I think sex is better with the lights on and a small candle positioned on one side of the bed. Your senses kick into overdrive because your eyes don't work, but occasionally, you'll see a light sliver on skin and then you're like, "OMG skin!"

5. How many sexual partners have you had?
13, I believe. I don't remember the exact number, so I think I might be overshooting. Now I'm going to have to make a list. Lovely.

Bonus (as in optional): Would you be unfaithful if you knew your guy/girl would never find out?
If you're speaking of my attitude now, no, I wouldn't. I'd break it off if I started thinking about fucking another guy, because in my experience, I've found that I seriously cannot live without quality sexual contact. Fuck this monkism. If you're speaking of my attitude 4 years ago, yes, I would have and yes, I did. And I also did it hoping my ex WOULD find out, which is a very long story but what it came down to was being in a relationship and not knowing I could end it if I wasn't happy.

Sugasm

2006-10-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

This is my small attempt to get us more traffic. Lovely, eh?

The Sugasm is the best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Spotlighting the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #51? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks

Dear Diary - Part One (http://wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com)
The Lure of Darkness (http://www.easilyaroused.co.uk)
Flash (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)

Mr. Sugasm Himself

50 Simultaneous Bloggasms... (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors' Choice

Let go, just let go (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Joint: The Cyber Seck Convo

2006-10-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Just because The Boy enjoyed our conversation so much, I'll post it for your reading pleasure. The only changes I made were

Oh, and since "theboy" and "thegirl" look similar, I named the boy Scooter (he looks like a scooter, dontcha think?) and I named myself Wildcat (50 super bonus brownie points if you can figure out why I used Wildcat as my nickname). Oh, that and I used Pink for myself and Blue for him. Even though I really don't like pink... It's more Scooter's color than mine. Oooooooooo pwnd!!!!!!11

wildcat: u no u want dis black dik. bend over bb
wildcat: jes teh hedd.......
wildcat: screm my name bich
wildcat: SCREM IT!
scooter:Oooooh..... you promise? Just the tip? If you stick it in my ass I won't get pregnant?
wildcat: no bbs if in teh azz
wildcat: swerz.
scooter: Ok. Go slow, and I'll scream your name.
wildcat: gud bb. i also gonna p on u
wildcat: u lyk dat bb?
scooter: ok, but not on teh face.
wildcat: =(
wildcat: plez?
scooter: only if u let me give u teh finger in ur azz.
wildcat: hmmmz
wildcat: k but b eazy bb. datz teh exit only
scooter: i no. you go slow and pee on me. not teh face, i get ur azz virginity.
wildcat: hmmmz
wildcat: k
scooter: u can have dis anytime u want it bb. its urs.
wildcat: ORLY????
scooter: YARLY.
wildcat: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
scooter: bb we are teh hawtness. we need to be fucking. i am ur bitch.
wildcat: jes bb
wildcat: uz my bich
scooter: i blong to u bb.
wildcat: gud bb
wildcat: now benz over
scooter: k
scooter: go slow
wildcat: n screm real loud
wildcat: i lykz teh scremin
scooter: Aaaahh........ FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
scooter: U FEEL SO GUD BB!!!!!!
wildcat: duhz
scooter: LOL
scooter: u cum n e where u want bb.
wildcat: ur face bb :D
scooter: k, no peeing. ill open my mouth
wildcat: HAWT BB
scooter: all 4 u
scooter: u r hawt
wildcat: duhz bb
scooter: i luv when u mek me feel dum lek that.
wildcat: i ges ur hawt 2
scooter: jes
scooter: u better recognize
scooter: we be teh hawt pwr couple
wildcat: u think?
scooter: jes
wildcat: i think so jes
scooter: bb, i don't want teh babiez, but u mek my azz hurt a little.
scooter: let me stik my finger in ur azz to show u.
wildcat: hmmmz
wildcat: k
scooter: spread it 4 me
wildcat: lyk dis?
scooter: oh jes bb. thats perfekt. hawt.
wildcat: u lyk?
scooter: i lyk a lot. see how it feels? only 1 finger?
wildcat: u can uz 2 i let u
scooter: really bb? u r teh best. ok i use 2
scooter: how do u lyk that? do i feel gud? like teh boyz?
wildcat: so gud bb. fnger fuk hardr bbz
scooter: ooh. u lyk it a lot. i go fast 4 u. i tear dat up 4 u.
scooter: es mine now
wildcat: ORLY?
scooter: jes. giv it 2 me bb.
wildcat: u lyk it wen i pound ur azz?
scooter: jes bb. i mek u cum soon. u uz my azz 2 cum
scooter: i lyke it.
wildcat: o jes bb
scooter: i scream 4 u.
scooter: MMMIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
wildcat: o jes bb jes lyk dat
wildcat: so hawt
scooter: MMMIIIIIAAAAAA FUUKKKK MEEEEE HARDERRRRRR!!!!!
wildcat: LYK DIS BB?
wildcat: U NO U WAN DIS BLACK DIK
scooter: YEEESSSS!!!! DON'T STOP BB! BLACK DIK IS TEH BEST. UR BLACK DICK.
wildcat: U WAN DIS?
wildcat: BEG ME BB
scooter: JES!
scooter: PLEEZ?
wildcat: k bb i giv 2 u only cuz ur a kewtie
scooter: GIVE IT 2 ME.... PLEEZ BB? I do anything 4 u. PLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ?
scooter: JES!
scooter: I knew u lyk me.
wildcat: TAK IT ALL BB
scooter: Ooooohh. FUCK ME BB! U R TEH HAWTNESS! I B URZ.
wildcat: SCREM MY NAME BICH!!!!!!!!111
wildcat: SCREM IT!
scooter: GIMME UR BLACK DIK! MMMIIIIIAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! FUK ME DADDY!
wildcat: FUKIN U HARD BB
wildcat: O JES
wildcat: BOUT 2 CUM bb
scooter: U SO GUD! NO STOP
scooter: CUM ON ME BB!
scooter: I WANT UR CUM
wildcat: CUMIN BB
scooter: JES!!!!!
scooter: MMMIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! FUK!!!!!!
scooter: I SQIRT 4 U!
wildcat: JES BB
wildcat: SHO ME U CUM
scooter: IM CUMMING!!!!!!!!!
wildcat: JES!
scooter: ALL DAT BLONG 2 U BB.
wildcat: O JES BB I LYK WEN U CUM!
wildcat: YA BB
scooter: I NO U DO
wildcat: wyl ting i tink ilu.
wildcat: WYL TING
wildcat: U MAK MY <3 SINGZ
scooter: I WNNA NO 4 SHO
scooter: U MEK EVERTING GRUVY
wildcat: no shitz bb corz i do
scooter: N WET 2
wildcat: o jes
wildcat: did u lyk it?
scooter: JES, U MEK ME SO WET BB
wildcat: gud bb
scooter: I TUCH MYSELF WIF U
wildcat: as u shud bb
wildcat: wot u doin now bb?
scooter: NO BBZ FOR ME
wildcat: GUD!
scooter: NO BB 4 U.
wildcat: no bbz s gud
scooter: u take care of teh bb if we had 1?
wildcat: hmmmz
scooter: just in cas?
wildcat: haffsiez
wildcat: fiddy/fiddy
scooter: k, we keep n teh azz to b sure.
wildcat: HAWT BB!!!!!!!!11111

The Boy : Stress Levels And Stress Reliefs

2006-10-13T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have to start off by saying "Thank You" to The Girl for bringing me down off the ledge. This week has been rough, and she has been there to help me cope with it all. That being said, she has also helped me in a way that she does best. Let me introduce you folks to something I like to call "The Best Pseudo-Cyber Sex EVAR". If you had asked me two days ago if I was feeling up for any fooling around, I would have punched you square in the nose. After all, I am a one woman man, and The Girl doesn't accept bullshit. But, last night, we were IM-ing eachother really stupid (see late 90's behavior) sexual comments. Things like "O bb, u mek me so wet." "U no u want dis big dik" and my personal favorite, "no babies if it in ur azz". It really made me laugh and forget about the problems going on. And by the time we had had our fair share of laughs, I have to admit, that I was a strange mix of really tired ( it was 5am afterall ) and extremely horny. What can I say, she does strange things to me. You should see sometime. :)
Anyway, thanks to her, and her wonderful ability to make me smile even in my worst times, I went to bed and actually SLEPT WELL for the first time in days. Now I just gotta give her the hornies so we can get off together again.

The Girl: say whah?

2006-10-13T01:17:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make a quick post to knock Scooter's last post down a bit. It's a big deal going on and with me being more than a little empathetic, I tend to get worked up when other people are.

And I've got my own stress going on, what with my sites, my impending trip to the west coast, my dog having a stroke and my brother tempting me into the idea of living on my own when my lease is up.

So, let's destress our little cyber fuck palace, shall we?

The Boy : Hiroshima My World...

2006-10-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

I am not one who lives at the clubs. I do not prefer to go out to overly noisy places and watch buddies of mine play childish mating rituals consisting of grinding their belts in girls backsides. I dance, but not like that. So, I always jump at the chance to have a TRUE guy's night out. One where the main point isn't to laugh at my friends and their lame hookup attempts, but to go bond with the boys over a few cold ones.
JOY!
So, yesterday was one of those rare treats. The guys at the firehouse wanted to go out and unwind after the hectic week we've had. The problem is that all but one guy bailed at the last minute, and he went home early. L-A-M-E.
Thank goodness for my other friends. I am lucky in the sense that I have about 7 friends that I have known for over 10+ years. Three of which I have known for almost 20 years. I am a freak i know, but these bonds have been forged and have never broken. I consider them my true best friends.
That's what makes this post so heartwrenching for me.
Let me flashback for a moment here.
When I was in college, one of my friends, let's call him "Bruce Wayne", was robbed at his home, at gunpoint.
He was getting up for an early morning class when he heard the doorbell ring. He answered it and saw a public works worker outside explaining that he was going to be working on the lines. He asked if Bruce's dog was chained up. When Bruce responded that he was chained, the man thanked him. As the door was closing the worker's foot slipped in and his hand reached around the door, holding a pistol. Bruce, let him in and was instructed to show the crook where the safe was. Bruce's dad heard the commotion and pulled out his gun and confronted the assailant. A standoff insued, with the result being Bruce's dad opening the safe and revealing that it only contained paperwork, deeds, etc. No money, no jewels, just paper. The crook was pissed and pulled Bruce with him to the front door where he then threw Bruce on the ground and made a run for his ride. Bruce's dad took some shots at the car, and then took off in his truck to try and chase him down. A call to 911 was made, and unfortunately no leads turned up, and no arrests were made. That was 6 years ago.
Last night that old history came up again.
After some heavy drinking with two of my friends, a confession was made. My oldest and dearest friend was the getaway driver of the car.
What the fuck!?
I was crushed. I have known "Richard" my entire life. We became friends on the very first day of school. Literally our first day of kindergarten. I was in shock. How could my oldest friend, a man I consider my brother do this? And to all people, how could he do it to my second oldest friend? His friend too! We have all known eachother our entire lives...
I admit with no shame, I cried my eyes out last night.
Richard swears he didn't know that it would happen the way it did. His college roommate was in town and was asking to see where his friends grew up, where they played, etc. When they got near Bruce's house, he told Richard to pull over and wait. If he didn't go along with it, he was going to be hurt. Badly, in a closed casket kind of way.
I never knew why Richard wanted to move out of his apartment in the middle of his sophomore year at Baylor, but now I know. His roommate was unbalanced. We grew apart that year, but we closed that distance when he graduated and moved back to town. Now I know why there was that distance between us. He felt guilty.
And he should. I don't know how to deal with this. And it makes me sad to think he has had to deal with this for so long. What do I do? If I tell Bruce, I may lose one of my closest friends to jail, or worse...
If I say nothing, then I am the one that carries all of this guilt. Bruce has come to terms with what happened. He says he has closure, and that he hopes that one day the persons who did it get what's coming to them.
Imagine that, it's fucked up to be held up as a hostage by a complete and total stranger. It is sickening to find out that one of your friends had a hand in it. How much of a mindfuck would it be for him to discover that? I don't want to hurt him, or Richard. There is not a clearcut answer for me. I want to say something, but I am afraid that anything I say will cause both parties and myself so much pain. And not saying anything is in itself morally devoid.
I used to love guys night out.
Now, I just want out.

The Boy: audio

2006-10-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

The Girl: bump

2006-10-06T19:28:00.000-07:00

The other night, The Boy and I had cyber sex. It was pretty awesome, I'll totally admit it. Until afterwards, that is.

I ended up making a mess (not a squirter, but I do come alot sometimes. Great in theory. On couches..... not so much), and I made a remark that I had to clean myself up. I then said that, judging from the "sound" of The Boy's orgasm, he had a mess, too.

He replied by saying that he didn't get off because he was at work. In essence, he faked his orgasm.

Insert our first bump.

I suppose in order for me to properly express my problem with this, I have to explain something. About a year ago, I was seeing someone - not very seriously, but "seeing" nonetheless. We'd had phone sex several times and it was ok - he definitely enjoyed it more than I did... I had to do most of the talking. But it wasn't like it was hurting me - ok, yes, technically I wasn't "really" enjoying myself... but he really enjoyed it. To me, that's what mattered. As long as it doesn't put me out in any way or beat me down, I'm up for just about anything that makes the other person happy. Anyhoo. So after one such round of so-so phone sex that did nothing but frustrate me, I needed to get off.

I didn't want to get off while he was on the phone because whenever I did that, he turned the whole phone sex thing from about "Us" to about "Him". He'd want me to talk him off while I'm attempting to get MYSELF off and, as a result, I'd lose my orgasm again because I'm not getting positive feedback. I was having to worry about his orgasm. It was just easier, and sometimes more enjoyable, if I helped him get off on the phone, then hung up and got off on my own.

This particular time, I made an excuse to get off the phone - I just said that I needed to clean up my mess and do laundry and besides, it sounded like he needed to clean up, too. He proceeds to tell me that he did NOT get off. He tells me that he faked because "it sounded like you needed to get off."

I was LIVID. I hate fakers and liars. Roleplaying, that's fine. Cybering, that's ok too. But don't fake your orgasm if you don't get off. Just tell me at the beginning and I'll be ok with it. We can still play, but at least I'll know that you can't/don't want to get off and I'll focus my energy on getting myself off instead.

He goes on to tell me that he had done it EVERY OTHER TIME and "why do you see a problem with it? i was helping you." Uh, no, you didn't. Sorry.

So the "Faking" thing really upsets me. I'm not a fan of it.

Cut to last night and The Boy and I have cyber sex. Great cyber sex. Come to find out, he faked his orgasm.

HE FAKED......... HIS ORGASM!

My mouth dropped open at the shock, seriously. I never would have guessed it, which is why a teeny tiny part of me got a bit saddened by that. In the grand scheme of things, this is just a teeny minute little bump. Microscopic.

But microscopic bump it may be, it's still a bump.

I think he understands my feelings on it. I mean, if he wants to talk me off, awesome. If he wants to hear me play, hotness. But I don't want to hear him - or anyone, for that matter - pretending to get off for my benefit.

Reiteration: I'm not pissed at The Boy, not even a little. This is my blog, his blog, our blog about Us. When something happens between us, I'm going to blog about it - just like I hope he blogs about it, too. When I have a problem, a thought, an idea about Us, I'm going to blog about it - just like I hope he blogs about it, too.

And for the record...this wasn't a problem - this was a thought.

Joint: First mutual sexual encounter, part deux

2006-10-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

The Girl: responds to The Boy

2006-10-05T02:21:00.000-07:00

I felt that I should respond to The Boy's last post before I went on to post about how badly I need to be fucked. Because we all pretty much know this. Anyhoo:

Some of you out there may have noticed a lack of posting by The Boy. You would be correct in assuming that I've been busy. I have a problem. How does one juggle the following 3 things without giving too much attention to any one?
1. Relatives visiting for a week
2. Work, and lots of it
3. Making sure you have time to chat with the best thing to happen to you in months.
Literally MONTHS!

I feel like I'm failing miserably. While The Girl swears that she's not feeling neglected, I feel as though I owe her a lot more attention. I just finished working a 12 hour overtime shift and am beat as hell. I have to go visit the fam for dinner before my sister leaves town for another 12 months. I have had a total of 9 hours of sleep over the past 3 days and I am getting the "giddy sleepy act". You know, where you're so tired that everything seems funny?
I'm there.
Right
Fucking
There

I won't lie and say that I miss this newfound attention I've acquired. But honestly, what real good is going to come out of me whining about it? Answer: none. Besides, we have this distance between us. That, combined with his hectic work schedule and my lack of teh finances pretty much insures that this relationship doesn't move overwhelmingly fast. Not that I'm scared of THAT sort of commitment... but when you're dealing with, not one but two undersexed hypersexual people that are attracted to one another, I'd put my money on the fact that moving abnormally fast would be a given. At least with the distance/work/lack of money thing, if we work around all that, we pretty much guarantee that we do have something amazing here.

Of which I have no doubt.

Where was I? (((( i ramble. it's my thing. =) ))))

Oh yeah. So about the neglect thing... no, I'm not happy about it. But it's not totally bad, especially if it keeps our relationship from imploding. I mean, that should be reserved for when Boy cheats on me with a skank stripper in the back of VIP or when he shags my mother (which, given that my mother's penchant for younger, athletic guys... yeah, she'd be all over Boy like white on rice. ........ok that's a disturbing thought. ew), right?

Lemme address Boy directly:

Look, just kick it up a teensy notch and it'll be kosher. Srsly. Don't think that you have to rearrange your whole damn life for me. Just do your thing, be vocal, be you and if we try to work on the communication thing, I'll be happy. Promise.

The Boy : When Time Is Precious

2006-10-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

Some of you out there may have noticed a lack of posting by The Boy. You would be correct in assuming that I've been busy. I have a problem. How does one juggle the following 3 things without giving too much attention to any one?
1. Relatives visiting for a week
2. Work, and lots of it
3. Making sure you have time to chat with the best thing to happen to you in months.
Literally MONTHS!

I feel like I'm failing miserably. While The Girl swears that she's not feeling neglected, I feel as though I owe her a lot more attention. I just finished working a 12 hour overtime shift and am beat as hell. I have to go visit the fam for dinner before my sister leaves town for another 12 months. I have had a total of 9 hours of sleep over the past 3 days and I am getting the "giddy sleepy act". You know, where you're so tired that everything seems funny?
I'm there.
Right
Fucking
There

So, I figure the following.
I'm going to go see my family, fall asleep in my food and make it home in time to shower, get comfortable and chat with The Girl.

Wish me luck with my plan.

The Girl: does what she does best.

2006-10-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

Can I rant?

What the fuck is up with audblog, the system we use to make our audio posts? Once upon a time, I'd make a post and less than ten minutes later, it would be on the blog. On weeknights, it would appear almost instantaneously - which would totally make me happy.

But a twelve hour wait? No, I'm sorry - fuck that. Seriously. I'm an impatient person and I refuse to wait TWELVE HOURS for an audio blog to post. I would rather just log into the system and grab the link to the mp3 myself.

Not sure if you saw it but our audio posts from earlier this morning posted about 1.30ish this afternoon. How ghey is that? I'd already manually posted them like, twelve hours earlier. God. Ghey.

The Girl: audio

2006-10-04T00:07:00.000-07:00

The Boy: audio

2006-10-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

The Girl: on The Boy.

2006-10-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

So during a nice bout of cyber sex the other night, I got to see Switchy Boy in action.

One of the reasons why I think we're so compatible sexually is because we're both a little of column A, a bit from column B. We can both easily switch between the standard "Dominant" and "submissive", and we're both up for anything the other person wants to do.

In English... I should definitely propose now. Ok, well maybe not now. But if he follows the same line of action in real life that he does internetically, well I'll be getting on one knee with a 4 carat rock at some point. And I'm TOTALLY not Marriage Girl material.

Back on track.

So during our little cyber sex fiesta (ole!), Mr. Boy went from being all subby to being a total dominant.

Total.

Fucking.

Turn-on.

Srsly.

I absolutely love that he's not strictly 'One Box' - I love that he occupies several at once. Very hot. Very sexy. I can't even begin to explain how awesome that is. One second he was telling me that he wanted to please me and get me off (and told me things he'd do to make me, ahem, happy) and then a few minutes later, I was on my cyber knees sucking his cyber cock like the greedy cockwhore that I am.

Cyber Cock... it sounds like an action figure. LOL!

Anyhoo. The entire cyber experience was absolutely awesome - probably one of my best, if not THE best. Not like I've done this alot before... but I'm in that industry (the cyber sex industry, mind you) so I have been paid to do it before. In those instances, however... my job is to get the customer off. My own satisfaction does not apply and it's rare for me to get turned on in those instances. Yes, I fake but only because if I didn't fake and was completely honest, it would sound buzzkilly and then I wouldn't have any customers.

So yeah. The Boy.... great cyber fucking. I loved it all. Love, love, love.

In other news, The Boy needs a new name besides The Boy. It's hard to type The Boy fast. At least for me. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

The Boy: audio

2006-10-02T01:45:00.000-07:00

[[ the girl: ok so because of how we have our audio posts set up, every audio post's author reads as me, when it's either myself or The Boy. So just read the title to see who's audio post it is.

Oh yeah, and the voices? Kinda a dead giveaway.]]

The Boy : Is Honored

2006-09-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, when I read The Girl's last post about our last little 'encounter' I was thrilled. I knew how wonderful it had been the other night, but for her to post it was mind-blowing. It reminds me of the 'fantastic, jealousy-inducing' sex that you brag to your friends about. I have never before met someone who is as sexual or enticing as The Girl. And finding out that she is considering naming a dildo after me has gotten me in a quite a mood. I love it. It's too bad that I don't have a sex toy to name after her... Maybe it's time to go shopping.

The Girl: gets itchy.

2006-09-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry but I was SICK of that other layout. I was positively itching to change it up. So I threw this one together. Not my fave, but I like the general layout and the colors. I'll be tweaking it a bit from time to time, so watch out.

On a scale of 1-10, I give it a 7.

...

Joint: First mutual sexual encounter.

2006-09-29T03:24:00.000-07:00

I felt the need to post these on one single post since they're related. You see, tonight The Boy and I had phone sex of sorts. Ok, it was more like audio sex, since we have yet to speak on the phone. To be quite honest, I like making audio clips for him and getting to know him this way before we introduce actual audio interaction. Call me old fashioned - I'm sort of slow that way.

So back on track. We had "sex" of sorts which was a first for us. Aside from IM-suggestion (which is just us making sexual remarks in regards to being horny, wanting the other to fuck/suck us off, that sort), we each made an audio clip for the other. Now, we've somewhat had cyber sex of some sort. I was in the mood and he noticed, so he took care of me. And I do believe that he's gotten off while we've spoken via IM (memory fails me at 5.31am with no caffiene). But this was our first mutual sexual encounter, and definitely our first SexPost.

Fair warning - there's nothing really mentioned in my audio clip other than a random "fuck" or "shit", and he lightly touches on what he'd like to do. But aside from that, all you'll hear is (are? i think it's 'is') two people masturbating.

The Boy's audio:

My audio:

To get the absolute full effect for the techno-minded, set my audio to start playing at 22 seconds into The Boy's audio. My audio was made while listening to his, so you'll get the full picture if you listen to them layered into one audio. I can't speak for The Boy's, but mine is 100% legit. His voice really gets me off - well, his voice combined with one of my dildos.

Maybe I should name a dildo after him.

The Boy: audio

2006-09-29T01:59:00.000-07:00

The Boy Is Learning

2006-09-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

As much as The Boy knows about computers, and specifically how to fix them, he is relatively new to the blogging game. He finds The Girl's immense knowledge of blogging to be quite a turn on. After all, it is not everyday that one finds a woman who is both sexy and can talk nerdy. As such, she has just told him how to perform an audio post. The Boy could not possibly be more turned on right now. So, without further ado, The Boy's voice.click here to listen.

The Boy Takes Notice

2006-09-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Not that it was misleading. But The Boy has noticed something. Perhaps The Girl was misunderstood when she told him her age. The Boy was under the impression that she was a child of the 80's. Now it seems that The Girl is in actuality a disco era queen. Hmm... was The Boy in the middle of a misunderstanding, or was The Girl playing herself up to be a little more spry than she is? In either case, it means the following:
1. The Boy and The Girl are extremely close in age to eachother, and it comes to The Boy as a big relief.
2. The Girl is not an old cow by any means.
3. The Boy laughs at the girl for following the "New Cow Theory" and totally gets the reference.

The Boy is amused and falling slightly faster than before.

The Boy Explains Himself

2006-09-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

While I am mostly a grounded person. I try and branch out in different directions and try new things at almost every opportunity. I have to admit to the girl, this is the first relationship I have ever tried to pursue on the thing we call internet. It's scary, I admit. Your fears of being played are almost as big as mine. I don't want to wind up on blog posts as this total sap who throws himself at you so you and your readers can get a laugh. On the other hand, I can see how my schedule would cause you to doubt my intentions. Like I told you, the schedule is a big reason why a lot of my past relationships have failed. 24 hours away from a person, 36+ on occasion, leaves women a lot of time on their hands. Women can be evil, and they do get bored. So I can say with no surprise that I have lost a total of 3 girlfriends to idle hands, of other men.
I do miss speaking with The Girl. She has been a bright spot in the clouded funk I refer to as my asexual existence. True, we haven't had sex (although my mind and stomach to loopy things when I consider the possiblity), but I rather prefer it that way. It has to come down to trust. I think that we have both been misled and used at some point in time. It sucks, but we are standing on our own two feet right now, and we're not asking to be carried by eachother. Let's walk together for a while, and see if later on down the road I can't give you a piggy back ride off into the sunset.

For the record: The Boy neither has a girlfriend, nor a wife. It doesn't mean he is opposed to such possibilities, it is just that if he proposed right now, The Girl would run. With good reason.

This does not change the fact that The Boy still really wants The Girl. It just means he is patient. It's worth waiting for.

The Girl: goes through withdrawals.

2006-09-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

It's been two nights since I've spoken to The Boy. He's been busy with work, or so he says. I will totally admit that while I do pride myself on being extremely AntiGirl in most regards, new relationships scare the bejeezus out of me.

It's probably why I've been single for most of the millenium.

It's not that I don't trust him or the situations. It's just that I do realize that I'm fairly high maintenance sometimes as far as lack of contact goes. Yes, he may be at work (firefighter...... OR IS HE??!?!) and yes, we've spoken a few times via email, but in my head he's already played me a thousand ways from Sunday.

Oh, being a girl sucks. And being a model sucks. Sounds a touch conceited, I know. But most models are insecure. There's always someone prettier out there - not to mention the huge number of men that will chat a model up just to get the possibility to bag one. So while the model is feeling the LustyLoin feelings and thinking she's in some quasi-relationship with a firefighter (for instance =), in reality the guy is talking up some other girl. Or has a girlfriend.

Or a wife.

And is just looking for sex.

For instance.

So yeah - models get big time Insecure with a capital I. For the most part, it's easily ignored... but other times it rears it's ugly head. I try to work with it on my own but it does come out.

But back on track.

On top of going through the Insecurities, I'm also dealing with the whole "i really miss talking to The Boy" thing. Not used to that now - like I said before, it's been a while since I have. I have yet to tell my closest friend that we've progressed this far, partly because I don't want to jinx This and partly because... well, not sure. It probably has a lot to do with that. It also has to do with the fact that, quite honestly, I have no patience or tolerance for bullshit. And maybe once I feel secure in whatever This is, I'll feel secure enough to tell my worst critics.

That still doesn't mean I don't want him, though. Just means that I'm an old cow.

The Girl: bitches about Blogger.

2006-09-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

And might I say that I'm seriously thinking of changing our blog location. Because this whole "o my bad bb - did u 1 2 update ur blog? i down rite now" shit is beyond-beyond.

that is all.

The Girl: audio

2006-09-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

The Girl: Introduction

2006-09-27T01:20:00.000-07:00

I really need to find a new name besides The Girl. But I wanted something that was simple, efficient, to the point, and didn't make me gag.

I suppose I should give a brief description of myself, so you can attempt to get in my head. I make no promises of actually entering my head, however.

I'm a Girl (excuse me while I DERRRRRRRRRRRRR!) that resides in Dallas. My birthday is December 8th, and I am roughly 21, 23 or 25 days younger than The Boy - it depends on when his birthday is. My memory is shit for brains occasionally and I can't remember if his birthday is November 13, 15 or 17.

... but I do remember it's in November and between the 11th and 19th. So all is not totally lost....

I think that's news to The Boy. I'm quite certain he didn't expect me to be that old. Oh well. Too late to get out now.

Ah, yes. So I'm a Sagittarius, and from what I've been told, fairly loyal to my sign's traits. I don't follow that stuff, so I have no idea. All I can say is that I'm pigheaded, a control freak and a perfectionist... but sometimes I can cut loose and do whatever strikes me. I also spend a lot of time working, partly due to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, partly due to my ADD and partly due to the fact that I really like my job right now.

I'm a photographer, website designer, graphic artist and an Internet Model. I do have a paysite currently where I show off sexy photos and videos, but know this - I don't fuck other people for money, and my stuff isn't raunchy. Ok, it can be... but it's not intended as such. I run a paysite, as well as my own diary website outside of this blog. Maybe one day I'll reveal my identity, but for right now, let me bask in the subtle glow of anonymity - it's been a while I've been "hidden" and I think I would enjoy it, especially in these circumstances.

I've been single for most of the new millenium, and I've been blogging 99% of the new millenium, so I'm pretty oldhat at this. As far as views on sex and relationships go, I'm extremely go-with-the-flow, but have a tendency to assume that people know what I want without me saying a word. Horrible trait, I know. I'm also extremely sexual, but asexual in my sexuality... if that makes any sense. I'm very sexual in relationships, but I don't tomcat around. It's not ladylike and definitely not proper.

Yes, I'm pretty contradictory. Get used to it.

I suppose I should also describe myself physically, although you can tell how I feel about myself by the way I saved my physical appearance for last. I'm 5'6 and a size 10-12 - pretty curvy, but the right curvy. I have shoulder-length dark brown hair, green eyes and somewhat pale skin... but I'm working on coloring myself in. I'm going to avoid posting photos of my face here, just because that takes the fun out of it... but if I had to compare myself to anyone, I'll say that I look like Ashley Judd or Alyson Hannigan (willow from buffy, michelle from american pie) when I have red hair.

My personal reasons for blogging here on TGL? The whole story will be told later on but it comes down to leaving an audio message for The Boy and needing some place for him to be able to hear the messages without them being exposed to the wrong people. I immediately thought of setting up a blog. I then debated about the name since GeekLust.bg.com was already taken... but our current URL is pretty accurate. I can only speak for myself... and I am a complete and total geek. And we've got a great deal of lusty loin feelings going on between myself and The Boy so yeah. It fits. I also think it would be decidedly different to be so open about a new and budding relationship without being totally exposed as I've felt in the past. I'll expand more on this later. But I suppose the good thing is that not only can I be open about my goings-on with The Boy (since I can't on my own sites), The Boy is also into this idea. There really wasn't any intent on my end to turn a potential relationship into a blog... but it happened and so far, so good. Besides, ever non-blogged relationship has failed, so maybe it's time for a different 'strategery'.

So yeah. Maybe I'll use Ashley as my alias... no, that's too common. I'll think about it some more.

[[... also: to further prove my GQ - that's Geek Quotient - I'm changing up my font color and style to easily separate my posts from The Boy's. I know how frustrating it is to read blogs maintained by two or more people, and you don't realize who's writing what until the end. So hopefully the font choice (trebuchet, what-what?) and color (light purple - easily readable, but slightly girly), as well as titling all of my posts with "The Girl:" will help you realize who is who and what is what. Yes, I know - I'm a doll. You love me. Blah blah...]]

[edit: I've deleted some rather telling information about myself. Not out of shame, but because while one or two tidbits are ok, if you combine all of them, you can easily remember that I've spoken about them on my daily blog before. And the point of this is the anonymity.]

I Still Hate Windows

2006-09-26T04:18:00.000-07:00

This is The Boy's first post, and of course it's something familiar. I hate Windows. How on earth can a computer continue to run and be unresponsive for almost a full hour while still connected? I don't know, but ol Bill Gates sure does, and he likes password screens that don't like passwords. I am going to burn this laptop when I get rid of it. Either that or I'm violating it in some way...

Is this...

2006-09-26T02:08:00.000-07:00

is this fucking thing even updating, because it's not on my end.

Fucking blogger - this is why I went to WP with my sites. Take heed, ya'll.

The Girl: audio

2006-09-26T01:38:00.001-07:00

So it is.

2006-09-26T01:38:00.000-07:00

So it begins.

This is the inaugural typed post of TGL. Our own little haven to leave messages for one another, and let the world listen in, without knowing who we are. Kudos - I am a genius.

How does this work? Well, you just call the batphone and leave a message. Easy as that. It'll show up here promptly - or at least should if Blogger isn't bogged down.

So... have fun and leave me groovy messages.

Signed...

The Girl

(and yes, the current layout MUST go!

Total Geek Lust

BOYS! OMFG BOYS YA'LL!

Talent.

Not so much a posting machine, no.

Did Hell Freeze?

New name, new look, new outlook.

The Girl, and the Fate of TGL

The Girl: Still alive. At least I am.

The Boy : The PS3 Came... And Wasn't Very Good In Bed

Wannabe Sawyer : PS3 Cometh

ChickWithoutAName: TMI Tuesday

Sexy Sunday

NotJenKateorAnne: Fantasy

Scooter : Sniff... *cough*

NotJen: Wet Wednesday

Scooter : Sniffle

NotJen: Resigned.

The Boy : Is Infected... With Rage

The Girl/Lana/Jen: Random Thoughts

The Girl: Renameage???

Whoa.

The Girl: The Ex

The Girl: on puppets.

The Boy : Accepts His Position

The Girl: audio

The Girl: Wet Wednesday

The Girl.

The Boy : No, They Don't

The Girl: they don't all have clever titles.

The Boy : Digital Coitus Interruptus

The Girl: a typical night with The Boy

The Boy : Everybody's Working For The Weekend

The Boy : Can't Hang Like He Used To

The Girl: My Baby Daddy

The Girl: TMI Tuesday

The Boy: audio

The Girl: A Fairly Serious Talk.

The Boy : Hates ISPs

The Girl: FAMOUS?!?!?!

The Girl: has a long-winded inner battle.

The Girl: is frustrated.

The Girl: .......... where was I?

The Girl.

The Boy: Audio

The Girl: Phone sex ROCKS!

The Boy : Attempts TMI Tuesday

The Girl: TMI Tuesday

Sugasm

Joint: The Cyber Seck Convo

The Boy : Stress Levels And Stress Reliefs

The Girl: say whah?

The Boy : Hiroshima My World...

The Boy: audio

The Girl: *bump*

Joint: First mutual sexual encounter, part deux

The Girl: responds to The Boy

The Boy : When Time Is Precious

The Girl: does what she does best.

The Girl: audio

The Boy: audio

The Girl: on The Boy.

The Boy: audio

The Boy : Is Honored

The Girl: gets itchy.

Joint: First mutual sexual encounter.

The Boy: audio

The Boy Is Learning

The Boy Takes Notice

The Boy Explains Himself

The Girl: goes through withdrawals.

The Girl: bitches about Blogger.

The Girl: audio

The Girl: Introduction

I Still Hate Windows

Is this...

The Girl: audio

So it is.

Scooter : Sniff... cough

The Girl: bump