One really bad thing about abstaining from sexual congress - be it voluntarily or involuntary - is that the longer you go without having sex, the more you need it. Sure, there are days when I don't think about anything sexual and I don't masturbate... but then, there are the other days. Days when I've seriously contemplated the ramifications if I had sex with the not-very-attractive UPS man.
(which, btw, isn't it illegal for UPS to employee deliverymen that do not rank higher than a 7 on a 1-10 Attractiveness Scale? just saying...)
Yes, it's happened. I've seriously thought about fucking random people. That's what happens when you go so long without sex - and even longer without great sex. So when I see images like the one above (from the movie Fascination), my mind sorta hits a speedbump. I forget what I'm doing or saying, and I get engrossed. It's truly a case of ".......... where was I?"
Ten minutes later and I'm still sitting there - staring, lusting, daydreaming, what have you. It's embarrassing. Images like the one above make me mentally compile great sex scenes and run them over and over again. They don't even have to be actual "Sex" scenes:
The first time I saw that scene, I thought I was going to DIE - it's simply insane how erotic it is. I crave that. Sometimes, all I need is a really great kiss. True, most of the time, I'd prefer a great fuck that makes me forget my name. But I digress.
In my conversation last night with Junior (don't you love that I have all these little names for him?!?!?!), we came into the topic of harlequin romance novels (I think he was talking about his degree, and I asked him what it was for - in a smut novel I have, the heroine (a firefighter, and so is the hero) gets a degree and aspires to be an arson investigator, blah blah blah). We started talking about the over-the-topness in those novels, and I had to admit that I want it. I think being single for so long has made me realize what I will and won't put up with. Anything less than 100% passion is something I don't want. I got tired of settling and putting up with bullshit. I've been dating for about ten years now, and the majority of that was spent inside 2 bad relationships that ended with me walking away with nothing but a dog, a suitcase and a bruised heart. Never again. Yeah, romance novels are kinda smarmy and over the top, but I suppose they have to be that way to compensate for the lack of true romance and passion out there in the real world. To steal a bit from a former blog of mine:
What do I want? Passion. The kind where you enter a room, and your gut tells you that something, something is going to happen. The kind that exists between two people that instantly know of their connection from one glance. The kind that builds until it's so thick that everyone around you can't help but comment on it.
I want the flirting that isn't held back for fear of offending. I want the long, hazy stares from across the room that end when one of us calls "uncle" and looks away with flushed cheeks and heavy breathing. I want the air filled with electricity. I want everything I've been lacking since I first noticed boys and felt what "butterflies" were.
Maybe I've seen too many movies and read too many books in my long absence of men. "Movie Passion"… does that even exist? Is "Harlequin Blaze Novel Passion" even around outside of black ink on off-white pages?
That's pretty much a true statement from myself. That's exactly what I want. I want all that mushy stuff. The slow dances in the cereal aisle at the market, kisses on the back of my hand, my hair being brushed off of my neck.
"Mooshy", I know. Feel free to mock.
This is a long post, so I'm going to wrap it up here and touch on it again in another post.
[author edit: i keep staring at that photo!!!!!!!!!!"]
SWF, 26, Dallas. Total Geek. Loves: Legend of Zelda, HTML, Photoshop and just about anything that plugs in. Hates: Macs, pussies of the non-vaginal variety, dialup, and "users". On the prowl for a geek to call my own. Must haves: at least 6ft, very "macho", at least a small bit Geek. No game players, please - we're not in middle school. I've kissed some frogs along the way (see the archives), but I have no doubt that one day, I'll find my Geek.
please note: this is not a daily blog. this is a blog about my dating life, and obviously will not be updated daily. maybe not even every other day. but it will be updated until you see the dreaded "i'm closing!" post.
