.: total geek lust: v2.0 - A Hard Geek is Good to Find :.

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Girl: *bump*

The other night, The Boy and I had cyber sex. It was pretty awesome, I'll totally admit it. Until afterwards, that is.

I ended up making a mess (not a squirter, but I do come alot sometimes. Great in theory. On couches..... not so much), and I made a remark that I had to clean myself up. I then said that, judging from the "sound" of The Boy's orgasm, he had a mess, too.

He replied by saying that he didn't get off because he was at work. In essence, he faked his orgasm.

Insert our first bump.

I suppose in order for me to properly express my problem with this, I have to explain something. About a year ago, I was seeing someone - not very seriously, but "seeing" nonetheless. We'd had phone sex several times and it was ok - he definitely enjoyed it more than I did... I had to do most of the talking. But it wasn't like it was hurting me - ok, yes, technically I wasn't "really" enjoying myself... but he really enjoyed it. To me, that's what mattered. As long as it doesn't put me out in any way or beat me down, I'm up for just about anything that makes the other person happy. Anyhoo. So after one such round of so-so phone sex that did nothing but frustrate me, I needed to get off.

I didn't want to get off while he was on the phone because whenever I did that, he turned the whole phone sex thing from about "Us" to about "Him". He'd want me to talk him off while I'm attempting to get MYSELF off and, as a result, I'd lose my orgasm again because I'm not getting positive feedback. I was having to worry about his orgasm. It was just easier, and sometimes more enjoyable, if I helped him get off on the phone, then hung up and got off on my own.

This particular time, I made an excuse to get off the phone - I just said that I needed to clean up my mess and do laundry and besides, it sounded like he needed to clean up, too. He proceeds to tell me that he did NOT get off. He tells me that he faked because "it sounded like you needed to get off."

I was LIVID. I hate fakers and liars. Roleplaying, that's fine. Cybering, that's ok too. But don't fake your orgasm if you don't get off. Just tell me at the beginning and I'll be ok with it. We can still play, but at least I'll know that you can't/don't want to get off and I'll focus my energy on getting myself off instead.

He goes on to tell me that he had done it EVERY OTHER TIME and "why do you see a problem with it? i was helping you." Uh, no, you didn't. Sorry.

So the "Faking" thing really upsets me. I'm not a fan of it.

Cut to last night and The Boy and I have cyber sex. Great cyber sex. Come to find out, he faked his orgasm.

HE FAKED......... HIS ORGASM!

My mouth dropped open at the shock, seriously. I never would have guessed it, which is why a teeny tiny part of me got a bit saddened by that. In the grand scheme of things, this is just a teeny minute little bump. Microscopic.

But microscopic bump it may be, it's still a bump.

I think he understands my feelings on it. I mean, if he wants to talk me off, awesome. If he wants to hear me play, hotness. But I don't want to hear him - or anyone, for that matter - pretending to get off for my benefit.

Reiteration: I'm not pissed at The Boy, not even a little. This is my blog, his blog, our blog about Us. When something happens between us, I'm going to blog about it - just like I hope he blogs about it, too. When I have a problem, a thought, an idea about Us, I'm going to blog about it - just like I hope he blogs about it, too.

And for the record...this wasn't a problem - this was a thought.

posted by SWF @ 7:28 PM

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