.: total geek lust: v2.0 - A Hard Geek is Good to Find :.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Boy : Hiroshima My World...

I am not one who lives at the clubs. I do not prefer to go out to overly noisy places and watch buddies of mine play childish mating rituals consisting of grinding their belts in girls backsides. I dance, but not like that. So, I always jump at the chance to have a TRUE guy's night out. One where the main point isn't to laugh at my friends and their lame hookup attempts, but to go bond with the boys over a few cold ones.
JOY!
So, yesterday was one of those rare treats. The guys at the firehouse wanted to go out and unwind after the hectic week we've had. The problem is that all but one guy bailed at the last minute, and he went home early. L-A-M-E.
Thank goodness for my other friends. I am lucky in the sense that I have about 7 friends that I have known for over 10+ years. Three of which I have known for almost 20 years. I am a freak i know, but these bonds have been forged and have never broken. I consider them my true best friends.
That's what makes this post so heartwrenching for me.
Let me flashback for a moment here.
When I was in college, one of my friends, let's call him "Bruce Wayne", was robbed at his home, at gunpoint.
He was getting up for an early morning class when he heard the doorbell ring. He answered it and saw a public works worker outside explaining that he was going to be working on the lines. He asked if Bruce's dog was chained up. When Bruce responded that he was chained, the man thanked him. As the door was closing the worker's foot slipped in and his hand reached around the door, holding a pistol. Bruce, let him in and was instructed to show the crook where the safe was. Bruce's dad heard the commotion and pulled out his gun and confronted the assailant. A standoff insued, with the result being Bruce's dad opening the safe and revealing that it only contained paperwork, deeds, etc. No money, no jewels, just paper. The crook was pissed and pulled Bruce with him to the front door where he then threw Bruce on the ground and made a run for his ride. Bruce's dad took some shots at the car, and then took off in his truck to try and chase him down. A call to 911 was made, and unfortunately no leads turned up, and no arrests were made. That was 6 years ago.
Last night that old history came up again.
After some heavy drinking with two of my friends, a confession was made. My oldest and dearest friend was the getaway driver of the car.
What the fuck!?
I was crushed. I have known "Richard" my entire life. We became friends on the very first day of school. Literally our first day of kindergarten. I was in shock. How could my oldest friend, a man I consider my brother do this? And to all people, how could he do it to my second oldest friend? His friend too! We have all known eachother our entire lives...
I admit with no shame, I cried my eyes out last night.
Richard swears he didn't know that it would happen the way it did. His college roommate was in town and was asking to see where his friends grew up, where they played, etc. When they got near Bruce's house, he told Richard to pull over and wait. If he didn't go along with it, he was going to be hurt. Badly, in a closed casket kind of way.
I never knew why Richard wanted to move out of his apartment in the middle of his sophomore year at Baylor, but now I know. His roommate was unbalanced. We grew apart that year, but we closed that distance when he graduated and moved back to town. Now I know why there was that distance between us. He felt guilty.
And he should. I don't know how to deal with this. And it makes me sad to think he has had to deal with this for so long. What do I do? If I tell Bruce, I may lose one of my closest friends to jail, or worse...
If I say nothing, then I am the one that carries all of this guilt. Bruce has come to terms with what happened. He says he has closure, and that he hopes that one day the persons who did it get what's coming to them.
Imagine that, it's fucked up to be held up as a hostage by a complete and total stranger. It is sickening to find out that one of your friends had a hand in it. How much of a mindfuck would it be for him to discover that? I don't want to hurt him, or Richard. There is not a clearcut answer for me. I want to say something, but I am afraid that anything I say will cause both parties and myself so much pain. And not saying anything is in itself morally devoid.
I used to love guys night out.
Now, I just want out.

posted by The Boy @ 10:14 PM

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